Balance

Yes, the picture changed again. This doesn't mean my attitudes or beliefs have changed. It's just to reflect the subject matter discussed in the post.

It's about balance this time; balance in life, that is. I'm a person of emotional extremes. I've talked about all of them often enough, whether in real life or on this blog; you know, the times of "I hate this world, I wanna go away, live in the forest as a hermit the rest of my life!" But then of course, I get to that point and remember what I was, and what I hoped to be: that glorious, shining example of knighthood, and I think to myself "Maybe I can still get there." My friends and family are always my most help during these times. They coax me back out of the forest so that I can get back to living life the way it should be lived. And then there are also the times of frivolous carelessness, when I get carried away with the giddiness of life and all its joys, which is a wonderful thing!

But I need to learn moderation. In all things, there must be an equilibrium.

So. The Hunter, the Knight and the Jester combine into one person: me! But then, there are probably a lot more aspects to me that could be pointed out and personified. Anyone care to share? I enjoy learning new things about myself, whether they be good or bad. Don't be shy!

P.S. The picture is one of a series my friend took out at my place. I tried to make the shots as period as possible, including my clothing and equipment. The tunic is brand new, and is bar-none the most period piece of clothing I've got. It's wool, and the style dates back to Europe in the early 13th century. Most of my other equipment is a hodge-podge collection from different people, but no less period (except that my bow is made of osage, a purely New World material; but it's still an English longbow, whose design dates back to before the Crusades). I didn't have any period gloves, so I thought it better to shoot without them, rather than have glaring anachronisms thrown in there. The rest of the pics taken that day (as well as many more!) can be found here: http://archeroftoday.deviantart.com/gallery/

Stand

I never thought the holidays could be considered days of industry. I always thought of them as times of frantic shopping, planning, partying and church preparation. This past SCA event, Christmas Revel, was a lot of fun, and it seems to have left me with a sense of production.

My friend Uther was rewarded for the fact that the appearance of his hard kit (his fighting gear) has been getting more and more accurate to his time period (the late 1100's). He now fights in a German Crusader-era helm and a padded gambeson. All the rest of his protective armor is covered. When he fights, he looks as if he just stepped off the pages of an illuminated manuscript!

His family has done a heck of a lot for me, so I'm trying to put a lot of thought into their Christmas presents. Of course, most of that wouldn't be anything bought, but a lot of things made. It's interesting. I've never made this much for people before.

What is it that happens in the mind when one is inspired? What trigger is pulled that makes one want to do more, greater, better things? Is it some sort of chemical reaction? I doubt it. I think that's the difference between lust and love. One is entirely shallow, the other is deep and lasting.

I've never made a New Year's resolution before. There are too many things in my head that can change for the better. Where should I start? At first, the superficial: developing the better looking armor for my period and making lots of other things (since I am an apprentice, after all). Then there are the deeper changes. I'll be going back to school soon. I'm still an assistant instructor in martial arts, and I might even be taking on some private students of my own, too.

I'm uncertain about what I'll be going up against next semester, besides classes and my own psyche. School (not lessons or learning) has always been my enemy, hated and despised, but it is all but conquered. Only three semesters left, God willing.

I've already talked about personal changes in my last post. I think of this one as an affirmation... that, and I just had to find an excuse to put up the new pic I found! Yeah, he's a Hospitaller, not a Templar, and the armor's a bit late for me, and there are too many straps on him... but it's still cool. I had to remove the title and description of my blog because it obscured his head. When I change the pic, they'll go back up.

Who shall I become?

A few days ago, I was completely shocked. I was told something I had never been told before, had never stopped to think about before, would never have even remotely considered before.

I was being reprimanded (and rightly so) for my lack of ambition in the SCA. I have said before that I am a slacker. I tend to prefer things being done for me, rather than doing them myself. This is going to change. A lot of things are going to change. I have not been living up to my responsibilities, and my priorities have been out of whack. There were other things said that I don’t entirely remember, and other things that were said that I will be able to recall sixty years from now with perfect clarity.

“You are a leader.”

That was the essence of it. I could not believe it, and when it was told to my face, I sat back in stunned silence. The person telling me this continued: “I’ve seen you with your friends. You don’t follow them around. They follow you.”

The honor of the person telling me this is above suspicion. Deception is a concept foreign to them, and flattery is almost completely unknown to them. They were telling me what they believe to be the honest truth.

I’m not sure I entirely comprehend it, yet, and I’m not even sure if I fully believe it. Honest they may be, but perhaps also misguided, but then again, I doubt it.

I begin to question my personal motives. In all the daydreams of my life, in all of my romantic imagined scenes of my days, never have I even once entertained notions of being a leader. I’ve never wanted it. There’s too much responsibility that goes along with it for my taste. I have no desire for power over anyone or anything but my own life. I enjoy shooting and helping when and where I can, even going so far as to teach anyone who wants to learn whatever it is I can offer them… but not lead them. I’ve never imagined doing anything remotely resembling leadership. I’ve never been a role model before, or an example. I’ve always imagined myself as a soldier, not a commander, and I’ve been happy that way.

I suppose it’s good to question your beliefs every once in a while. It re-affirms what you believe and gets rid of the things you thought you believed in, but really don’t anymore. For sixteen years, I have been a student, a disciple, of “constant and never ending improvement.” But tonight I ask myself “Why?”

Why do I believe this? Why have I not abandoned this idea, or why has it not left me? Mostly, I think because I began to live by it in my youth. I was not even ten when I began to hear the initial teachings of this philosophy. Anyway, that’s one reason. I’m sure there are others, and they come to mind, but I don’t entirely feel like putting them all down tonight.

What I’m more concerned with right now is what I said earlier, about questioning beliefs. In short… “Why is everyone so obsessed with improvement?”

Isn’t there such a concept as being content, anymore? Can there be no time for leisure, for rest, for enjoyment in the status quo, the way things are? Is it human nature to always want more? I think there would be a heck of a lot less stress in the general world if people learned to let things be, that sometimes, there isn’t any improvement needed.

But then, I guess some things are just meant to be. Honestly, I hope they’re wrong. I enjoy the thought of being asked to do something because I’m trustworthy and capable (granted, something I need to work on). I never wanted to be a leader, and I’ve never asked for it… but that doesn’t mean I’ll dodge it.

For the first time in my life, I really begin to find myself open to the idea of a destiny outside the realm of romance. I’ve never believed in that kind of thing. I always thought a person’s life is what they make it, but of course, there’s always the delight of finding out what God wants you to do with your life… and then there’s this… part of you that you have no control over… sometimes, we can control what we learn… other times, we have no choice in the matter. A lesson is impressed upon our subconscious and we are changed because of it. Sometimes, it’s not even a lesson… It’s just something that’s given to you. Part of your character, I suppose. Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, I was saying that character is something that can be shaped by someone other than you… and it’s done for a reason.

I don’t know what it is. I know that my name means “Shining Fame” and I always assumed that meant I was destined to have many good friends. I know that for the first time, I am not entirely opposed to the idea of being a leader, even though I never ever would have seen it coming if someone else had not pointed it out to me. I know that should I not be asked to become a leader, I will be happy, but I also know that if I am asked to do so… I will not be alone and I will be equipped for it.

U.S.C.S.F.

I've never done well when learning something under pressure... but there are SO many things out there I would LOVE to learn, but apparently, the only way to learn them is to subject oneself to the arduous journey that is boot camp.

I speak of the military arts. Now let me be clear, these are not the same as martial arts. Although they are combative, the intent of martial arts may not be purely so. Many practice some martial art or other for a variety of reasons; exercises to develop things like speed, stamina, strength, flexibility and coordination, or perhaps they wish to use martial arts as a spiritual journey that delves deeper into one's own personal psyche. Whatever the case may be, they are only one of the many assets that are employed by the Armed Forces.

I have been fascinated by our military for some time now, and if I felt called to it, I would join it in a heartbeat. As a matter of fact, one of my friends is already in the Army, and my best friend is going to join the Coast Guard at the first chance he gets, and he's invited me to go with him. I'm considering it. I've never liked the thought of boot camp. I don't mind being told what to do, and I would love what I was being taught; it's the way they teach me that would grate on my nerves. Having said that, I can still understand why they teach the way they do. If you can't handle Basic Training, there's no WAY you'll make it in an armed conflict. But still, I like the thought of having a friend there to bear it with me. I made the decision earlier this year that if I graduate and still have made no headway in finding out where I belong in life, I will be joining the National Guard. Unfortunately, that can only be a part-time engagement, and it's not enough to make a career out of. When my buddy asked me if I'd like to go with him, I told him I'm not at home in water the way I am on land. He's the fish, not me... then I found out about the diversity of the Coast Guard. Did you know that even they employ snipers?!

THIS would be me getting back to the original topic of conversation. I've been a martial artist for 16 years. I can fight unarmed and armed with knives, which I can also throw. I have received training in wielding a handgun which I plan on expanding. I am experienced in moving quickly and quietly over many obstacles when I must. I have also been told I'm a good listener (remember this point, it comes back later).

Now here's what I would LIKE to learn: how to properly apply camouflage face paint. How to shoot well at long distances, which means being able to adjust for things like wind, elevation and humidity. How to clear a building, whether alone or with partners. How to notice key elements in one's surroundings, like who's carrying a weapon, if they know how to use it to its maximum potential, and if threatened, how I can neutralize it. How to outsmart someone I am pursuing, or someone pursuing me. How to negotiate with someone who has a gun pressed against his head, or that of another's (remember that point about being a good listener?). How to silently communicate with someone across the room.

Now all of these and MANY more way cool things can be learned at academies for people who eventually become soldiers, Marines, SEALS, Green Berets, Rangers, FBI agents or SWAT team members. Which is great!... but what about us folks who may not be up to some of the other challenges of boot camp?

I'm not saying I'm not up to the challenge, and I'm not trying to make excuses for not joining up. I'm simply wondering how one goes about learning these kinds of things if one's plans do not include a career in the Armed Forces...

I've had this little thought picking at my mind for a little while, now, and I like the thought, even though it's probably HIGHLY impractical, but there are some logical points to it. I believe that as many people as possible should learn how to handle themselves in a worst-case scenario, whether that be a purse-snatching to attempted rape or even murder. Here are three scenarios (granted, one is MUCH less realistic than the others) which illustrate my points:

A man walks into the grocery store and either does not notice or chooses to ignore the two dark figures lounging at the corner of the building smoking cigarrettes and watching him. Ten minutes later, the man exits the grocery store with his hands full of bags and does not see the two men follow him to his car and grab him from behind, stabbing him swiftly in the back before he can cry out. They lay him down between the cars, snatch his wallet, stand, and WALK away, knowing that running would only attract attention.

That scenario was told to me by Tom Givens, the man who taught my concealed-carry permit class, and it illustrates that ultimately, the best weapon is nothing anyone can see, but your own mindset. Now these other scenarios are a bit more triumphant.

On your very stereotypical dark and stormy evening, a woman is alone in her home when the electricity blinks out. Eh, no biggie, just a power outage in a storm, happens all the time... but then she looks out her window and notices that every other house on the street is still lit up like a Christmas tree. Curious, she picks up her phone to call the power company or a neighbor, but the phone is dead, too... then the doorbell rings. She has two options: One, go to the door and see who it is. Two, ignore the doorbell by pretending no one is home whilst making sure her cell phone is charged. Let's say she's a clever girl and decides not to go to the door. It's a good choice, considering the house caller has now broken the glass of a nearby window and is now crawling inside. Now the woman's choice is very clear. Make for the bedroom, close the door, and shoulder the shotgun whilst standing far enough away to let the door swing open before she pulls the trigger.

(This last scenario is the really un-realistic one, but still possible... and it's my blog, and I enjoy writing this kind of thing anyway, so deal!)

You've been blessed with a beautiful home with an even more beautiful lawn that sweeps from the street about 100 yards to your front door. Your bedroom boasts a window balcony with a genuine first class view of said front lawn and street, as well as the house directly across from you, inhabited by a very charming young man who has had the sad misfortune of dating a woman with a history of violent obsession, and has not taken her medication in quite some time. One fine Saturday morning, you wake and pull yourself out of bed to find a dazzling sunshine beaming down on a horrific scene. Across the street, you can see your nieghbor, still clad in a fuzzy robe and slippers bending down to retrieve his newspaper, when all of a sudden, PsychoLady runs up to him, apparently screaming obscenities because of his recent break up with her. Before the man can even raise his head in surprise, she clouts him over the head with a Louisville Slugger and appears to have every intention of having at him whilst he is incapacitated. Now YOU are the one with a choice. You could call the police. You could even conceivably jump off the balcony, and assuming you broke nothing, could start tearing like a shot towards them to do something heroic. You could also go back to bed, and when the police finally arrive, you can lie, telling them you never saw a thing, which they could not possibly disprove... or, you can reach for the .308 Winchester, rest it on the balcony, settle the cross-hairs, taking into account 100 yards- no, wait, they're across the street, so make it 110 yards (give or take a few feet) with a slight cross-breeze, and squeeze the trigger.

...I seem to have gotten long-winded and seemingly paranoid about this subject. I apologize. I am in no way an extremist or a vigilante. I do, however, possess an over-active imagination and a desire to learn certain things.

Anyway, the upshot and point of all of this is where the people in these scenarios could get the kind of training that would save their own lives or those of others without having to leave their families, friends and careers behind, or having to be yelled down by drill instructors. Just because people don't want to go into battle doesn't mean they don't want the knowledge.

I call it U.S.C.S.F.
United States Civilian Special Forces

I just know I'm going to get a heck of a lot of criticism for this, but you know what... I don't mind, this time. What are your thoughts? Am I crazy? Off my rocker? The deep end? Call the men in white lab coats?... Am I making anyone nervous? I'll be waiting!

My Heart

First, I want to say "Thank you." I had no idea what to expect when I made that last post after such a long silence, but the response from people I love so much was amazing. I love you guys.

Tonight, I sit here forlorn in front of the TV finding even Home Improvement and MASH unable to cure my blues. I never thought it would get to THAT point. Somehow, the mishaps on Tool Time and 4077 have never failed to bring a smile, and they've been my televisionic(?) home away from home.

God, it feels good to rant. I am struck this evening at the incredible range of emotions within the human heart. How is it that this thing pumping life-giving blood throughout the entire expanse of our incredible body is also the symbol of two such drastically contrasting and opposed feelings?

One feeling is marvelously beneficial! It reduces stress and leads to activities such as laughter, which increases the blood flow throughout the human system. The incredible physiological relief a smile makes is well-nigh unimaginable, to say nothing of the heavenly thrill, the gloriously gorgeous, most satisfying, most pleasing, most perfectly passionate feeling the human heart can experience... true love...

In many ways, it is even more than just a feeling... it is the lifeblood of cultures, the muse of poets, storytellers and musicians. Men and women throughout History have yearned for it, reveled in it and ultimately even died for want of it. Wars have been waged over it, the weak, penniless and pitiful have become great only when inspired by it and royalty has fallen because of it. It is the sweet fruit of love that has enticed the entire human race since God created Eve, and once tasted, never truly fades away. Its lingering tang can still be experienced by the heart for decades after the first bittersweet jolt of Cupid's arrow has surged through the body...

And so it is thus that only after such unreachable heights have been attained that unprecedented falls can be happened upon. The higher one goes, the farther one falls. I must apologize for this continuing vein of topic, but I guess I just haven't finished falling yet.

God, I never thought I could feel such things in my life! It was all so unutterably, tenderly... crystal clear! It was like floating on a Summer's twilight atop a pool of purest water, as smooth as glass...

Shattered. That's what this is, or at least, it's what it feels like. I'm not broken. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere... but I feel like a window smashed through with a brick, and the glass is still falling. Maybe once it's done I can start picking up the pieces again... but I doubt my heart will ever be the same.

But then... there's always hope, isn't there?

The way I see it, there are two things I can hope for: I can hope to get past this feeling quickly and be thankful for having experienced it, or I can hope for things to turn around, or to even learn from my mistakes and experiences and turn them around myself, and make things be the way they always should have been.

Story of my life: Hope Springs Eternal. Only time will be able to tell what's going to happen.

Pain, Changes and Beliefs

::sigh:: So much change in such a long time, and not all of it very good at all.

I'm sorry for not posting in a really long time, but right now, I'm hurting more than I ever have in my life. There is actually more than one contributing factor to that, and I'm not going to go into them all. Suffice it to say that at the moment, the world seems a dark, gloomy place, and the weather isn't helping. I hate winter. The cold is bitter, and everything I love in nature seems to die in front of me. All the gorgeous green fades away, and my most beloved places in the world, the forests, are left desolate and bare, seemingly devoid of any life at all, painfully unable to lift me up, away from my cares and woes.

This pain I feel at the moment might not be so bad if I'd experienced it at some point or another in my life, but nothing's ever really prepared me for something like this. It might not be so bad either if it would actually stop! The event which caused most of this happened months ago, and I would have thought that some kind of progress might have been made by now, and I suppose some has, but it still keeps me up at night, and I hate it.

I want things to go back to the way they used to be, even though I think I can understand why they changed... but things can change again, can't they? People learn from the pains and experiences in their lives, and they grow into better people.

Not everything recently has been bad experience. I was a traveling salesman in The Music Man when it came to the Harrell Theater in Collierville, and that was lots of fun. I plan on doing more theater in the future, and maybe even looking around for an agent somewhere.

My taekwondo instructor asked me when I was testing for my fourth degree. When I said I didn't know, he said he wanted me to test in March. I said "Yes, sir" and commented that I suppose I'd gotten complacent with where I was in my career with taekwondo, to which my instructor looked at me and said "Constant and Never Ending Improvement." This motto is the core, the very foundation of our taekwondo federation, and it convicted me pretty hard.

When it comes down to it, I'm a slacker. It's reflected in practically everything I do. There's almost no such thing as consistency in my life. I don't practice anything regularly, my study habits have never been good, I've never completed any personal projects I can think of, and my moods and actions are at best, erratic.

But all that can change, too. I guess I needed some kind of goal, or maybe I was just looking for something to do, but I've started working out again, and it feels good to realize how much I haven't forgotten, and to simply try and imagine how much more I could be capable of.

In this randomly traveled path I walk in trying to improve myself (however roundabout my route may be) I have taken the courses and acuired a permit to carry a concealed weapon. Many people will ask why, and even after I explain my reasons, many will still not understand, and that's ok, as long as no one tries to convince me to change my mind about it.

Let me make one thing perfectly clear: I am not paranoid or in fear for my life from anyone specific. I am simply exercising my Second Amendment right to bear arms. This world is broken and dangerous, and there are only three kinds of people in it. Most people are sheep, defenseless, oblivious and perfectly content to keep going from blade of grass to blade of grass. They are preyed upon by the wolves who seek out an easy meal at the expense of life. These wolves are why there must be the sheepdogs. They may not be able to protect the entire flock, but they are certainly formidable and will defend themselves and others at whatever cost.

Many people believe that the police are our sheepdogs, but it is not true. The police are purely a rectionary force. They are not called to any crime scene until there is a crime committed, and that could take a lethally long time. I plan on preventing something from happening for the police to investigate and becoming another statistic.

THAT is what this is all about. Ironically, the very heart of every martial art in the world is the concept of defense. These days, the gun is the new sword. Only the weapons of warriors have changed through the ages, not the mindset. "The idea is not to hurt your enemy, but to stop them from hurting you" whatever that may take, and sadly, that sometimes means taking their life to save your own or that of another.

I am not a murderer. I do not want to kill another human being, and I will do whatever I can to avoid it, but if I must, I will not shy from pulling the trigger to save my own life or the life of someone I love.

I can sit here and type out so very many horror stories that could have been stopped had the victim had a weapon, or even stories where the victims came out on top, or I could spell out the figures that cite the verifiable fact that when citizens are armed, violent crime rates drop like proverbial rocks, but the upshot of the whole thing is that people understand why I carry a weapon and am not afraid to use it if I have to, even though I hope I never do.

I see the right to keep and bear arms as more than just a privilege: it's a responsibility. Our Constitution is stained with the blood of men who died to defend the ideas written there, the very cornerstone of our country, the foundation of which is NOT religion, but nothing less than the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Cornerstones are just that: stone. They are inflexible, unyielding and unchangeable, or at least they should be. To seek the alteration of what those men died for is to mock their memory and belittle their sacrifice.

I may not be a warrior, but I am a fighter, and I may not be a soldier, but I am a patriot of what is undoubtedly the greatest nation on Earth, probably the greatest nation the world has ever seen. We are stronger, freer, and better people than any others in History, and that is because of our roots. I wear this weapon as a symbol of what I believe and as a tribute to the men from whom we are descended, whose legacy lives and even thrives today in the hearts of those who take the time to learn where we come from and honor it.

God bless, there's a lot of other stuff going through my head right now, but I'm glad to have written this much, and appreciate the time you've taken to read it all. I feel better, now. Drop me a line to let me know that people are still glancing here every now and then, if you don't mind.

Thanks again.

Chasin' Dem Dreams

Before anyone accuses me of taking those arrows and sticking them in the target by hand, I will swear here and now that all six of those shafts were shot at a measured distance of twenty yards in less than thirty seconds.

I stopped by Ty's place to practice yesterday, expecting to not perform as well as would like to, and I surprised myself. If I had done that well at a competition I recently attended, I would have walked away with the prizes easily! Instead, I find that my mistake was that I over-concentrated and was nowhere near relaxed enough to hit my A-game.

Today, I made a bowstring for a friend, and when I put it on the bow and shot, I found I was hitting one-inch leaves at ten yards! And it was so easy! Granted, that was mostly because it's a recurve with a formed grip and at least ten pounds lighter than I usually shoot, but it was just so much fun!

When I was a child, my dreams were made up of Robin Hood and King Arthur. When Dad and I started shooting longbows, my dreams were made up of ten-rings and bull's eyes. When I joined the SCA, I dreamed of becoming the next William Marshal. And now?

These days, I think my dreams are made up of having fun. I turned 25 yesterday, and it feels different from 24, just like 24 felt different from 23. It's taken me a long time to figure out what I want out of life, and just when I think I've got myself all figured out, I surprise myself one way or another. When one relaxes, he's good. When one has fun, he's even better, and even if he's not, he cares less about it.

I'm not going to give up on the dream of becoming a knight...but I am going to put it on hold for a while; probably a few years. I have decided to pursue even more skill with my bow than I ever thought myself capable of achieving. I have made a reputation for myself as one of the best longbowmen in Gleann Abhann. Now it is time to broaden my scope. I know there are kingdoms I can best, and even if I don't, I'm going to have a ball trying!

I'm not going to give up my dream of a degree. I can't go back to school this semester, but I will next semester, and I will be better. In the meantime, I've re-discovered the lure of acting. Hopefully, I can earn a few extra dollars as an extra in a few things and maybe get my face around to get some exposure and experience.

Eventually, I'll follow my dream of gymnastics, too. I don't want to compete, and I don't even want to accomplish that much, but I do want to learn how to tumble. I've got to get back to TKD, too. My body's in good shape, but it can be better.

All this talk about dreams comes from a lot of things happening in my life, and watching the Olympics contributes, too. They have archery as a sport, and it might still be called archery, but just barely. I want to compete someday with the traditional stuff. Maybe it's possible to beat all those fancy fiberglass recurves with their sights, three-foot stabilizers and carbon arrows with plastic vanes with nothing but a string, two sticks, some feathers, and your own body.

Only one way to find out...

So It's Been A While...

Gosh, I don't know where to start...there's just so much!

Colorado was...amazing, as always, and Lanelle was/is wonderful, as usual. She, her family and I had so much fun! We visisted the Renn Fest, Six Flags and Vail, threw knives and axes, shot our bows, played much cards, did a LOT of dancing..man, it was such a wonderful time. And of course, time flew, and there was never enough of it.

::sigh:: I miss her so much. There's so much I want to see with her, and do with her. So many places I want to go.

When I came home, I started preparing for the household gathering at my house. Everyone showed up Saturday morning, unpacked and set up tents, did a spot of fighting, then hit the pool. I did a bit of throwing and a bit of shooting with some friends, but mostly, everyone stayed in the pool. There was great talk and great fod with great people. Afterwards, there was a campfire, and people spent the night. The next morning (this morning) everyone left. Mom went to Murfreesboro to visit my brother and get some tools to my dad for working on the plane...so now I have the house to myself for a week. Friends of mine know that, and I won't be lonely, though.

Two nights ago a whole bunch of us went to go see The Dark Knight, which is EVERYTHING I expected it to be, and more! God bless, so much of that movie is just so perfect. Looking forward to the third one!

::sigh:: There's way too much on my mind right now, and I'm distracted. I've got plans, though. Tomorrow, I need to rturn some movies, then actually get to class, which I haven't done in months. Afterwards, more hanging out with friends!

I'll try to catch up on some more frequent posting. C ya!

A brief update on LOVE!

Hi, everyone! Sorry I haven't been posting. Out here, I have extremely limited access to the Internet, so I wasn't able to post anything last night or the night before, so here it is.

Hey hey, my first nonstop flight! It was quite a blessing, and went quite well. My lady met me at the airport around 3, local time, and after the ecstatic reunion, we got down to business of unloading my stuff. I'm staying at her father's house this time. I don't remember much of the first day.

Yesterday was packed! Lanelle and I went to meet with friends at the Renn Faire! It's just fun wandering around watching people and listening to music. We did get to see one of the jousts, and it was fun, even if it was choreographed and mildly hokey. After the Faire, we came home, got showers and changed to go swing dancing! Lanelle's dad went with us, so I kept him company while Lanelle danced more than him and me combined. We were all whipped by the time the dance was over.

Today was slower and more relaxed. Lanelle's dad, her young brother Aven and I threw axes and knives a lot and we started messing around with our bows too. There were also card games galore, and we went to see Kung Fu Panda.

Don't know what we have planned for tomorrow, but you can bet I'll love it just because I'm here with her! Keep watching!

Reflections on Movies

Wow, this is going to be a random short post that I should probably go deeper into later. For now, though, bear with me.

Been seeing a lot of movies! We'll start with Get Smart. I never saw the original series, so I have nothing to compare it to, but even by itself, it's a wonderful movie! Lots of fun, cool gadgets, and good lessons too, like learning that even bad guys are people too, and learning to love yourself for who you are.

Now there are two movies I saw recently that actually have a common subject matter, even though it doesn't look that way. The one I saw earlier tonight was The Incredible Hulk. Again, I never saw the first version, which everyone said was absolutely horribe, so I don't have too much to compare it to. But again, by itself, it's one great ride! This one talks more about priorities and the consequences of actions more than anything else.

Now the last one was my favorite! Kung Fu Panda! This is one of those classic "there's a little hero in all of us" type thing, with a lot of great humor mixed in! (Hee hee! If you don't plan on seeing the movie, ask me about "Skadoosh!") I loved it! The few things I disagreed with were the undertones of Buddhist thinking; specifically, the ideas of fate and looking within yourself to find unlimited power. This is the subject matter that is shared with The Hulk: power.

The physical strength of The Hulk comes from a scientific experiment gone wrong. It's very scientific, delving into biology, radiation and chemistry. In Kung Fu Panda, the key to limitless power lies within oneself.

I believe that humans are born flawed and imperfect. No one has to teach us how to lie. The Bible speaks endlessly on the human conditions of sin and mortality. As beings that are fallen, humans are therefore incapable of attaining perfection.

I believe that true power comes from Christ alone, He who is perfect, pure, and incorruptible.

So yeah, like I said, that's my point, and I should probably go deeper into it, but I'm tired tonight, so this is what you get.

More Role Models

You know, I made what I thought was a really mature decision a couple weeks ago. I told myself to just quit worrying about being a squire and fight. Just keep going to fighter practice, learn from all sorts of people, and start entering tournaments so that I get not only the experience, but also the exposure to so many different people, fighters, and fighting styles. Good thing, too!

This past Wednesday, I went to fighter practice, and that wasn't so bad. Experimented with a different style of shield (center grip) than I normally use (strap heater). Thought about doing a bit of single-sword and florentine stuff, but I never got around to that, but that's ok. I picked up a lot of practice and a lot of lessons. Now, this past Saturday was even better! War practice!

This was not a day to polish up personal skills. Saturday was a day to forge brotherhoods with the men and women we would stand shoulder to shoulder with in battle. We practiced forming the shield wall, advancing and maneuvering, and different tactics for different terrains and scenarios. I learned that in a wall, the bigger the shield, the better. I learned that swordsmen are not swordsmen, per se. More like shieldmen. Swordsmen are not the ones who do the killing in a shield wall. They are the ones who protect the real killers of enemies, the spearmen.

It was great fun! But then, fighting always is, even in Summer. After the war practice, a few of us had some one on one bouts going, and I stepped in for it, too. One of the knights, Sir Michael, wanted to fight with me specifically. I have no idea why he wanted to fight with me, but I was both delighted and honored. He used a spear, which meant me having to get close to him, which he wouldn't let me do. I chased him around for what felt like a half hour, during which time he must have killed me at least six times. After that, a few other fighters got out and started a little Round Robin type thing. Again, I was given much advice throughout the day, and I oved every bit of it. They're all so helpful. Sir Michael comes from a martial arts background like me, so a lot of what he said made a lot of sense...that and he's short, like me, too, so a lot of what he said applied to me, too. He's a great guy.

::sigh:: Originally, I wondered if there was any knight in the SCA I would want to be squired to, and since I hadn't met many, the list was extremely short. Now that I've met more, I can't seem to make up my mind. They all seem so cool! Uther von Ziemer, his brother Luther, Thomas of Aylesbury, Tar Radu, Michael of the Mace, King William, Caillin Macleod, Padruig, John the Bearkiller...the list goes on. These are all men I've met that I would love nothing more than to be counted among. They are modern, yet ancient...that is, their code, their lifestyle, passed out of popularity centuries ago. Or has it?

Chivalry in and of itself is found more often than people might think. It's just not called the same thing anymore. These men I listed still live with this ideal every day. Yes, valor is part of chivalry, and courage and discretion are the better parts of valor...but the other aspects of chivalry...courtesy and teaching...these are what are seen most often by students like me, and when students like me see men like them doing things like these...it makes us want to be them even more.

A lot of fighters get distracted with the thought of knighthood. They make prowess their top priority, ahead of things like generosity, or humility. They sometimes forget the fact that a good stick is just that. What makes a great warrior into a knight is something no skill with a sword can influence. Heart.

So THIS is what it's like!

So! Duvant Defender! It honors one of the most chivalrous men the SCA has ever known. I never got to meet him, but the legends of the man are absolutely epic.

I rode down to Hattiesburg with James the Holy and Katil. Let me tell ya, multiple travelers is the way to go! It's more fun, more interesting, and WAY less expensive! I slept in the backseat most of the way. I didn't exactly want to, but since I was the smallest, I had the backseat, which I have no problem with. The problem is that being in the backseat removes me from the majority of said interesting conversations. So instead, I listened to my music a lot and slept.

Once we got there, we puttered around waiting for other people, and I was able to snag a bed space in a cabin. You know, there actually is something to be said for reserving space ahead of time. Anyway, once I unpacked and garbed up, I went to the Green Dragon where everyone else was. Once Their Majesties arrived and garbed up, they also came to the tavern, and with much formal ceremony, set Ashikaga Hiromoto on his vigil to become a knight.

I stayed up longer than most. I was the next-to-last person to see him, and that was around 4 a.m. When I finally left, I passed His Majesty, who had been the first person to see Ashi. We made small talk for a while before retiring a half hour later.

From the few times I have met him and talked with him on a personal level, my impressions of King William (Sir Camric) are that he is another one of those cool guys who is devoted to the authenticity of nearly everything he does in the SCA, from clothing, to armor, to ceremony, to personal ideals. He makes a very good king, and a cool person. I just don't know what kind of man he is.

The next morning, my alarm went off at 8. I took a shower and armored up, being the first fighter to be inspected (accompanied with much ribbing when it was learned that this was my very first tournament). After being inspected, I puttered again as fighters kept arriving and signing up for the tournament. When they finally got everyone's name down on the list, there were 32 fighters, which made 16 first round fights! And I was the second match.

My opponent was a man younger than me named Antonio. I don't know him hardly at all, but we know who each other are. He was in the army, and just came back from Iraq a few months ago, recovering from shrapnel wounds. He's squired to Sir Loric, and fights like him: VERY fast. But I still accomplished what I set out to do! He didn't kill me with one shot! That was my goal, and to make sure I achieved it, I did the stupidest thing possible when fighting against someone I've never seen fight before: I rushed him. The fact that I wasn't killed instantly says more for my element of surprise than anything else. Still, I kept my shield up enough so that he didn't kill me, but in the excitement of everything, I left my it high and he gave my leg a good whack. I went to my knees, where Antonio mercifully made my end quick.

So the day passed to the sound of sword on shield. Since it was a double elimination tournament, I got another fight: Sir Godfried. This man was Ashi's first knight before moving to another kingdom, and when I heard his name after mine, the whole field heard me "God Bless!"

Well, again, I was determined not to let him have me with just a single swing. I poked at his face with my thrusting tip, but it was my first time with one of those, and didn't think follow it up with something. Otherwise, I think I may have had a shot at his front leg, and that's what I tried next, but before I could get there, his blade was ringing on my helmet.

That took me out of the tournament proper. It was a long time before it was over, and there was much prowess and chivalry displayed throughout the day. Sir Loric was the first to make it all the way to the finals, being the only man not to lose any of his fights. In the semi-finals it came down to Uther and James. Technically, Uther won, but this was a qualifying tournament for the Tournament of Champions in December, and since Uther had already qualified with Ashi earlier this year, he asked if he could bow out of the tournament and allow James to continue to the finals, thus ensuring him a spot in the TOC. This was allowed, and he went to fight Loric. The fight was to be best two out of three, and James won the second, but Loric won the two, so he claimed the winner's cup.

When the contest was finally over, I went to do some pick up fighting with a friend...when my shield strap broke. He and I played with single sword for a little bit, which was a lot of fun, but I did not stay after that. Later, I went and stripped my armor down and got a shower.

That evening, I stood with the entourage for court. Ashi was formally knighted, among many other awards and recognitions given and applauded. After that was feast which was wonderful, despite my pounding headache. Afterwards, four of my friends and I sat in our cabin talking the good talk before going back to the Green Dragon to socialize with everyone else. There were some really good stories and fond memories passed around in there! But that's the way it always is when you get a bunch of us in the same place at the same time.

The next morning saw us all packing up and leaving to get breakfast together (the five of us from Memphis). There were good reflections on the event, and many plans made for the days to come. You're going to have to keep watching! Summer's not nearly over, and there is still so much to do and blog about!

Remembering Chivalry

Yesterday was the end of the shoot down here, and Erik finished his selfbow. Neither of us placed, but we still had lots of fun. Once we got back, we got lost in old movies, and I saw Ivanhoe for the first time and loved it. Right after that was Knights of the Round Table. I liked Ivanhoe better, but it still wasn't bad.

Robert Taylor reminds me a lot of Sir Elazar, but mostly in looks, I don't know Elazar well enough yet to tell whether or not he's quite as like Ivanhoe as I think he is, though I think he is...I think...

It's really cool to watch a movie like that and be so faimliar with all the terms in there because of the SCA. I mean, we actually use those words! But we use other things, too. The idea of chivalry isn't quite as foreign in the SCA as in the mundane world. People think that chivalry is dead in the mundane world, but come to an event, and you see it around every corner, and can even experience it firsthand.

Man, I can't wait to get back to an event! Duvant Defender is this weekend. It honors one of the best and most chivalrous fighters the Society has ever known. You can bet I'll be there!

The Most Random Journal...

Well, it wasn't as good as our shoots back home, but still not as bad as it could have been. I really need arrows for my English longbow. It's so much lighter than my other bow, so the arrows I have are way too stiff to fly well from it.

Erik finished most of his bow today. It shoots well, but the handle still needs to be shaped. We go back to the shoot tomorrow. Hopefully, I can post a better score than I did today.

I was reminded that I'm not a craftsman, but a shooter. Making things don't so much strike my fancy as doing things. Not enough patience.

On another note...

THREE WEEKS! 21 more days! Hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee hee! (I'm kinda giddy!)

Sorry for the short post. Have more tomorrow! God bless!

Louisiana Again

Greetings from sunny Louisiana! I'm here for the birthday of Master Erik, and man, that's a longer drive than I thought! Nearly eight hours about did me in. And an eighteen mile bridge! I thought I knew the definition of the word "bayou"!

Erik and I go to a mundane shoot tomorrow, and I imgine it will probably be much like Twin Oaks. One can only hope! Check back often for updates!

God bless!

Summer Plans

Ok, so the reason for the new pic is that last weekend I was down in Louisiana for the kingdom archery championships. I won again, which means I am now the 1st, 3rd and 5th Yeoman of Gleann Abhann. What I'm happier about, though, is that I slammed by personal record by 12 points! Only another two points and I would have broken 200, which would have rocked, and another 12 after that would tie the top scorer in the kingdom. Only 14 points from the top! Sweetness! I love archery.

But as much as I love it, like I've said in earlier posts, I can't become a knight with my bow, and I WILL become one...eventually. One of my households has a fighter practice every Wednesday night, and I was actually able to get to this one. I killed Uther once, too!! Faked him out when he thought I was going for a wrap to his leg, but I caught the side of his helmet instead. I made that my last fight of the evening...It was just too hot. Now, just because I beat Uther once doesn't mean I'm making progress. I actually now have more bad habits than when I started because now that Uther's learned better methods, he's teaching them to everyone he knows, too. We got a looooooooong way to go before progress is actually made.

I find I have to step up and do a lot more on my own than I originally had thought. I never thought my summer would be this busy! I've gotten into the habit of doing crunches every morning and evening, but now I really should also add pell work and probably running to the schedule, and I really need to work on my gear for fighting, like finishing my war shield, adjusting my arms, shaving down my leg armor and adding a buckle to my kidney belt.

There are other plans, too, like more SCA events. Louisiana again this weekend, at least three to Mississippi in there, and two to Arkansas.

On the other hand, I get to go to Colorado three weeks from this Saturday! YAY, I'm so excited! Lanelle and I have been talking about what we want to do together, and who we'll hang out with. I'm actually really excited about hanging with her brothers and sister, as well as her father, too.

I want to get to know each of them very, very well, in a way unique to each of them. Her sister Shauna, I want to understand has another brother now, that she has to get potential boyfriends past. I want to help teach and guide Jared, and see if I can help him find his way in life.

The one I think I'll have the most fun with, though, is the youngest, Aven. He's 12, and we got to hang a little bit the last time I was up there. This time will be better because it's Summer! I want to teach him how to shoot, and how to throw at least axes, and martial arts, too! With Aven, I can look him in the face and tell him an honest truth: You come from a line of warriors! (Lanelle's family heritage is mostly Scottish and Scandinavian). The blood and adrenalin of the Vikings flows through your body, and when you do things like this (archery and throwing) you are more connected than ever to your past!

Remember me talking about that connection? I've started seeing it in more mundane things, too, like the things we do while we're just sitting around the campfires. It's true what they say about History repeating itself, and I enjoy that...but come to think of it...things like that never really stopped...this isn't History repeated. This is History...continued...!

I am...

Ok, selfish rant. There, you've been warned. Usually, I enjoy knowing my posts have been read, but this time I really don't care whether it is or not. This just feels good to write.

I am many things. I'm an archer, an enthusiastic (if un-talented) actor, a pool player, a lackluster student, an eccentric musician, and a martial artist. And I'm a guy. This is significant because being a guy means having certain typical desires and mentalities. I'm also simple, or at least, I try to be. When life starts getting more complicated, it's harder for me to see the good times in it.

You know what else I am? I'm tired. I'm tired of all the challenges in my life being nothing but mental challenges, or challenges of maturity. I'm tired of having an enemy I can't wrap my hands around and beat because it's my enemy. "Be patient, Bobby. Mental challenges are more important." You know what else I'm tired of? Hearing that. I know it's true, but once, dear God, just once, not only would it be nice to have and overcome some kind of physical challenge, but also to let it have meaning and substance!

This is the 21st century, not some fairy tale. Fire breathing dragons don't exist. The only dragons that are real anymore are invisible, threatening to drive me absolutely crazy because in order to overcome them, I must first submit and bend to their rules, obeying them, no matter what they may ask of me. They also drive me nuts because as if this wasn't bad enough, they are unseen. There is no physical challenge to it! And once I succeed, what reward is there? A piece of sheepskin. Sure, what it symbolizes is enormously important for the rest of my life, and if I don't succeed, life is going to be a heck of a lot harder, longer, and stress laden...but it's still nothing but a piece of SHEEPSKIN! How did such a thing get to be so important, anyway? The writing on it, I suppose is what's more important, but you know, it just doesn't feel quite as satisfying.

I was a national champion, once. I was 17, and it was my last chance to win this title before I would have to step up and start competing against the 18-32 year olds. And you know something? I didn't just win that tournament. I took it by storm! Afterwards, my instructors said they had never seen me perform so well. Since I won the pattern part of it, when I faced off against the winner of the sparring part, they took his pattern score, subtracted it from my pattern score, then took that difference and doubled it, giving that number to me as a lead for this final match. There was no way he was going to win. He would have had to score 15 points in 2 minutes!
I don't care that I got a medal for it, and I don't care that I wear a jacket that now says "2000 National Champ" on the back. All I care about is that I fought and I won. I earned that title with nothing but my own body. I did not stop to think the entire match! All was instinct, trained reflex and God's blessing, and I LOVED it!

I felt invincible for weeks afterwards. But when school started back up again, the feeling faded, and why? Because in the real world, it didn't matter that I had just had my life's crowning, glorious achievement. I still had to make grades so I could graduate, get into college, get a degree so that I could get a job to earn money. My employers won't give a rat's rootie-patootie that I was once at the top of my game and could break four boards with a single blow. Four! That's the equivalent to a human skull, for crying out loud!

I hate it. I hate the fact that in this fallen world, even heroes have to bend to the ways of broken life. You know who I look up to? The people I want to emulate and be like? Not scholars, certainly, and DEFINITELY not intellectuals, theologians or philosophers. No, I look up to warriors! When I tried out for the Bartlett PD, you know what my eventual goal was? Not police chief or commissioner! SWAT team! Specifically, a sniper. I wanted to learn how to shoot well so that I could take down those people who wanted to hurt others, and do it well. And I still do!

I want to confront evil with a sword in my hand, not a book! I want to feel the edge of my blade biting deep and tearing it to pieces in righteous fury, not arguing it down in a debate! I want to yell my throat raw in a war cry lifted up to Heaven while my heart pounds in my ears and my feet dance in glorious combat! I SWEAR, there is NOTHING like it in the world!

:: sigh:: But it will never happen. I must resign myself to this. I begin to think now the closest I will ever get to real combat is in the SCA, and I think that with time, I can learn to live with that.

I am many things. I am also glad I wrote this. Now, maybe I can get back to living life and recognizing it for what it is...and learning to enjoy it.

Updates

Well, I have a lot to blog about again. For those of you who have not yet heard, my father's mother died recently, and I am in New Mexico for the services. The way I hear it, everyone's been doing pretty well, though I can't imagine how my grandfather is coping.

From all the pictures I've seen, and the way my father, aunts and uncles talk about them, my grandparents were so very deeply, passionately in love with each other. They have a wonderful story, and I wish I knew more than the fact that they married when he was 21 and she was 19, fresh out of high school. They had five children together. My uncle Dick, my aunt Pat, my father, and my aunts, Sally and Leesa. Now, Dick has a son, Tommy, Pat has a son named Ben (who also has a son) and two daughters, Megan, (who has two sons, Danny and Tyler) and Elise (who has a son named Aden and two stepdaughters). My father has my brother and me, Sally has a son named Jesse and a daughter named Melanie, and Leesa has two daughters, Joanne and Sarah.

It's good to see all of them again, especially so soon after the last time I saw them back in March. We'll sit and talk, and go through all the old photos and reminisce.

Went to Crown List, last weekend, too. Sir Havordh won...again. This will be the third time he's been king of Gleann Abhann alone. He's been king of Atlantia, too. Hopefully, this will be his last time. Don't get me wrong, I like him, and all, but there are others I like also, who I think would do very well on the throne, like Sir Elazar, whose squire Ashi was just informed that he will be knighted soon.

I didn't do much, this event. I watched, and I talked, and I helped where I could, but everything was already so well taken care of. I did get to do a bit of drumming, though, and I've missed that.

Oh, I almost forgot. The reason for the new picture is that being out here means being roughly 400 miles closer to Lanelle. I'm hoping to convince my parents to let me borrow the Yukon and spend a few nights with her and her parents, especially since we'll be staying here more than a week, unlike last time.

At the moment, my lady is troubled, and I would ask for prayer on her behalf as well as mine. Thank you, everyone, for keeping us in your thoughts.

I'll be posting more later, but it might be a bit angsty, and the pic might change, too, so maybe I should save it for tomorrow. In the meantime, God bless.

Frustration in Paradise

::sigh:: Well, thanks to the people who actually responded. By this point, I've got too much to blog about to not continue, so I will...continue, that is.

Firstly, the Barony of Grey Niche (Memphis) had it's annual event called Beltaine last weekend, and it was lots of fun. It was a brand new site out in the middle of the woods, which was perfect. The only drawbacks were that the kitchen was miniscule and there were no cabins. Neither were problems for me or Billy, since we daytripped and ate with Uther and Kenna's household. Dave and K.C. actually stopped by and had fun, too. There were lots of tournaments, including archery, in which I won a matched pair of tooled leather bracers. I'm gonna have to show them off sometime. Uther finally won the Silver Torc Tournament, which he's been trying to win for the past 15 years, and he and one of his good friends, Ashi, are now qualified for the annual Tournament of Champions. In court, Baron Dulinn "died" and was succeeded by the new baron and baroness, my friends Mahsheed and Dagan.

The next week was the last of my finals! Thank God, only a year left. On Thursday, Dad and I left for Clarksville for the Tennessee Classic shoot, sponsored by the Twin Oaks archery club. The land it's on is amazing. Nothing but one big, giant forest with hills and small mountains, a few fields, and large creek. I was in heaven for days! At the shoot, they also have what's called the Selfbow Challenge. You register for it, buy a stave, find a guide to teach you how to make a bow, and compete with it when you finish. I bought a stave last year, but didn't finish it, so I brought it back this year. Unfortunately, I took off too much wood in certain places, and now my bow has a bad hinge, which really can't be fixed unless I'm willing to turn it into a kid's bow, which I might do. It was very frustrating, though, and there were several points when I just wanted to chuck the whole thing into the campfire. On the up side, I did learn some cool tricks about stringmaking, which will come in really handy, especially since Dad bought some string for us to practice on. I also learned some cool methods of making fire without matches. I know, I know, standard Boy Scout stuff, but it was still lots of fun. There were flint-knappers, merchants and vendors, good food, great people, long walks, sweet shots and fun conversations.

The one problem I had with this weekend was with myself. I find myself utterly frustrated. I should have shot much MUCH better than I did, but most of it had to do with my bowstring. I was getting worried that it was beginning to fray, and I didn't want it to snap on me, so I switched it out for a bowstring I had made, and immediately and instantly shot like hell. Before I switched strings, I was able to pick a spot no bigger than a half dollar and consistently hit it from twenty yards. Now, I'm lucky to hit a pie plate from there. First I started getting arrow-porpoise, so I raised my nocking-point like a good little thinker, but now I've got arrow-fishtail! I know it's not my brace height, and I really don't think I'm shooting differently. I have absolutely no idea why my shooting has gone to pot. It's downright infuriating, and I find myself burning with a slow simmering anger that's not good for me.

Lanelle and I had a long conversation Friday night, too. We basically talked out the fact that we realized that we've gotten distracted with each other. Our focuses have not been God, and we need to change it, so we kicked around a few ideas and eventually settled on her idea to go a week being just friends. Let me say this emphatically: We're not breaking up or going separate ways! This idea/experiment is designed to remind us that we are supposed to be pushing each other towards God. The fact that we come closer together in the process is a pleasant by-product.

Like I said earlier, I'm angry with myself tonight. I should never have lost focus of my goal of pushing Lanelle closer to God, and I should never have goten so sidetracked with myself...and my archery, my passionate pastime, is suffering, and I don't know why. I'll go and see Ty later in the week, but until then, I guess I've got some soul-searching to do.

Please pray for me.

Roll Call

Alright, that does it! My map says people have visited this blog from Tennessee, Florida, California, Alaska, Colorado, Texas, Louisiana, Kansas, Mississippi, Georgia, Missouri, Ohio, Wisconsin, Oregon, and various parts of New England. And that's from America ALONE! I've also got one each from Mexico, Canada, England, Germany, Australia and even one of those countries up in Scandinavia (sorry, whoever you are, for not being better up on my geography).

Now, as flattered as I am at how widespread all this attention is coming from...I'd REALLY like to know who you people are! I know the comments list for this post is going to be astronomically long, but you know what? I don't care! Whoever you are, wherever you are, please let me know! Or heck, you don't even have to put down your name! If you want to, you can just remain anonymous, as long as you type in from where you're reading. THANK YOU!

P.S. Yes, I do expect at least one post from every single one of my personal friends! Love you guys! And no, I will NOT make another post until I am satisfied at the number of people who have responded!

In The Shadows of Greatness

I think my blog is becoming more of an SCA journal than anything else, but I think that's ok. A lot fo what I learn in life and about life comes from my SCA life.

But last weekend started with a few days before I left for Coronation. On Wendnesday, Billy, Liza, Mike, Sam and I got together for dinner and some games, and it's always such a good time when we're all together. I watched "Stick It" for the first time and enjoyed it, although after viewing, I wondered on whether the title actually referred to a gymnast's sticking a perfect landing, or perhaps, given the plot line, it referred to the gymnasts telling the unfair judges they could just Stick It...you know...

Thursday, nothing exciting happened, really, except that I went over to William of Glen Lyon's house so that he could show me how to pad my new helmet. We ate dinner together and watched the new episodes of CSI and Without A Trace. Good stuff with great people. If I'm not a squire by then, it will be very hard to decide if I want to be one to Will or to Caedmon. They're both incredible people, and I love them dearly.

Once I got to Coronation, I found that once again, someone had cancelled, so I filled their cabin and feast space...Thank God, because that night stormed something terrible. Caedmon was in the cabin with me, and we talked the good talks that camping buddies talk.
God bless, that site...it's the same site used for Gulf Wars, and I hate it. I mean, without the war, and a few extra thousand people, it seems like such a ghost town. The place is well-night desolate. I have pictures, if anyone's interested, though after I unpacked, I lost my camera and did not find it again until I packed up again, so unfortunately, I have no pics of the event itself. Go figure.

The next day was the day of William and Onora's Coronation, which meant that Uther and Kenna had to either step down or die...and a great and filling day it was!
As I've discussed earlier, they have Crusader personas, so they modeled their reign after that of the Leper King, Baldwin IV. In reference to "Kingdom of Heaven" Uther wore a gorgeous mask. After dozens of awards were given, the last order of business was to rward the Telemark household for various services they have performed.

In Gleann Abhann, we have a tradition when we want to praise someone, or to get the fighters' blood up before a battle. Someone will shout "ALL" and everyone responds with "HAIL!" This is traditionally done three times. Uther gave it once, and we responded. He gave it twice, and we shouted again...but he did not call a third time. All eyes turned to the great Ram Throne, where sat our king, slumped over. Mistress Brigit took his pulse, but shook her head. Uther, our beloved, glorious, shining example of everything a knight, and then a king, should be, had finally succumbed to his malady, and gone.
Queen Kenna took a moment and knelt before their children, then stood and addressed the populace. She gave a speech then, and I cannot recall it's entirety, but the gist of it was that the day we had all been long dreading had finally arrived. As badly as Uther wanted to stay with us, he could not, and she thought it fitting that he should leave so close to the fields of combat that he so loved. She asked his bodyguards to go and prepare him for his final journey. Ali, James the Holy, Dex, Sir Sa'ad, Dagan and I went outside and brought in the cot that had been laid there ahead of time. Dex and James laid him gently to rest, crossing his arms and feet (because he was a Crusader) and covered him with a white silken cloth. Queen Kenna then continued, saying that Uther was her rock, and that she could not govern the kingdom alone, but would spend the rest of her days in seclusion.
She went to her heirs and told them that they were strong enough to ascend to the thrones and lead the kingdom. She gave them each a token. To Onora, she gave the great red jewel brooch (referred to lovingly by the populace as "The Precious") called The Heart of the Ram, saying that this symbolized the heart of the people. You have their trust and their love. To William, she bestowed the Sword of State, telling him to protect his people. To this he solemnly swore. Finally, she called the kingdom seneschal, Master Erik, forward, saying that she would relinquish her crown "Is this what you want?" "I must." "As you wish," and he received her crown. At her words, we six took up the cot once more, carrying it out of the hall in absolute silence. I have never been more honored than to be one of those chosen to bear Uther from that hall, and yet, I also have never taken up a task so sadly.

But once we carried him out, that was the end of the tears. The rest of the day was spent in happy pastime as William and Onora formally took the thrones, being anointed by Father Gilbert of the Hospitallers and then accepting the Oaths of Fealty by their entourage, the general populace, the Royal Peers, the landed nobility and court barons and baronesses, and all the other Peers. Finally, they began their court proper, giving out several awards. The last order of business was to elevate Uther and Kenna to the status of count and countess (that's the way it works: serve as crown once, become count and countess; serve as crown twice or more, become duke and duchess). For those women who have served as Queen, they also have a special order called the Order of the Rose. Kenna was formally inducted into that.

After court, the only interesting thing for the rest of the day was the King's Champion Tournament. Since Uther had tweaked his elbow during Gulf Wars, he had to fight left-handed...but he STILL won!

Feast was fondue, and that was much fun, though there wasn't quite enough food, and the cheese just wouldn't stay melted. After that was the ball, which wasn't very long, but was also much fun! After that, everyone pretty much wandered from place to lace, not least of which was the Green Dragon, where most of the celebrating and merymaking was going on.

The next day, I packed and helped others pack. Uther and family and I were the last ones from Grey Niche to leave site. We had lunch together and spent some good time talking about the event. Once home, I helped them unpack and went home to unpack myself. This morning, I found my worst fears true: Every single time I go to that site, I come away with a sunburn, and this time, I have a cold. My nose and throat have gone completely wompy-jawed. Help me!

In retrospect, I find myself wishing I had done more...again. At the very least, I could have fought in the King's Champion tournament. I would have been terribly beaten, but I would have at least been able to say I had fought and now had the experience. Coronation is always our big Pomp and Circumstance, ceremonial event, along with Crown List. Great names and lots of people show up, and there is never a shortage of things to do, or people to serve. I must do better, next time. I will fight, and I will serve.

Incidentally, next time happens to be in Bartlett, two weeks from this past Saturday. There will be much archery, fighting, and live weapons. I'm going to have to do a LOT of practice!

A Living Anachronism

This post is related to the last one, which is why I have not changed the picture, but here I begin to highlight the side of knighthood I did not touch on last time. I have spoken many times, now, of how knighthood is the highest honor than can be bestowed upon a fighter, and how to become a knight, one needs not only skill, but also courage, leadership, and chivalry...but the other hand says that skill is what also separates a good, chivalrous man from a knight. Knights are good, yes, honorable, of course, humble, mostly, but they are also WARRIORS.

::sigh:: This is going to be one of those times where I voice my opinion that technology (except in the fields of medicine and sanitation) should have stopped with the bicycle. If I did not believe that God doesn't make mistakes, I would believe wholeheartedly that I was born 800 years too late. Of course, I acknowledge that had I been born back then, not only would I most likely been born to the poor representative of the majority of the medieval population, the serf, but my life expectancy would have dropped drastically. If that had been the case, assuming I lived to the age of sixteen, I think I would have simply taken my bow and a knife and run; just faded into the forest and tried to live out my life in blissful avoidance of capture because I would be breaking the king's Forest Law.

Now, let's assume that I had been born into a higher class. Now, I think about what I would have been taught: how to manage property, how to ride properly, how to dance...and how to fight. At the very least, with a sword and shield, but also probably with spear, knife, and axe. I would have learned how to throw my weapons, if needed, I would have learned battle tactics, and how to lead men, and how to repair my own armor...this is sounding familiar...

Oh THAT'S right! I learn this stuff on most weekends anyway. The SCA has taught me many things, and a lot of them span time to apply in my life now: things like humility, among others. Of course, the more enjoyable skills I now possess are almost completely useless in the modern context. I can shoot straight, throw well, fix armor passably, ride enthusiastically and fight tolerably, but...who needs it, these days?

I briefly considered a career in the military before understanding that it was not my calling. I would have enjoyed what I was being taught, if not the teaching process. Every boy daydreams of being a hero. The Marines call themselves (and I believe them) the greatest warriors on Earth. Who WOULDN'T want to be called one of them?! The modern Spartans! But that's not for me.

Makes me wonder what I AM meant for. I am certain God has a plan. I just wish I knew what it was that I need this kind of knowledge for it. Any ideas, anyone?

Return to Chivalry

I think I'm coming back, somewhat, to something I left behind a long time ago when I began to grow up. When I was more of a dreamer than was good for me, I remember myself being more the gentleman than I am now. I guess I got caught up in the thought that everyone on Earth except me believed chivalry was dead, so that the burden of reviving chivalry rested on my shoulders alone. It was arrogant of me, and now that I've been around a while longer, I can see how wrong I was. The world, and especially the SCA, is absolutely stuffed with people for whom chivalry is their entire way of life. When I discovered this, I suppose I began to relax more and have fun. Too much of that got me into relationship problems and lots of drama in my social life. Now, here I am: older, in love, and relatively drama-free. Perhaps now is the time when I can attempt to temper my informality with the gentle reverance of chivalry again.

Last night, Mike, Liza, Billy and I had an Indiana Jones marathon in anticipation of the fourth movie coming out in May. Again, we all agreed that the last one is the best one. At the end, the Grail Knight reminded me of Sir Thomas of Aylesbury. In the above photograph, taken at Uther and Kenna's Coronation ceremony last year, he is the Templar staning next to me, holding his sword. After the ceremony, many people commented on how cool he looked, but Caedmon came up to him and said "We should have asked you to go up to someone with a goblet and say 'You have chosen...poorly.' " Sir Thomas, being a man of good humor, laughed and said he would have done it, if anyone had thought of it soon enough.
The reason I bring him up is because my search for a knight to become a squire to continues, and seeing the movie brought him to mind again. It would be very cool, I think, if he, as a Templar, took me, another Templar, as a squire...but I hesitate to ask any knight to be their squire outright. Such a boldness would be rude of me, I think. Another reason I hesitate is because though I like Sir Thomas very much, I know very little of him, save for that he is a close personal friend of Uther and Kenna's. I have no idea what his fighting style is like, if he desires to take a squire at this point, or if he even fights anymore. I don't suppose it's really practical to think of becoming his squire...but still, the dream will not leave, and I don't know why.

I think Gulf Wars got to me a lot, too. Gulf Wars always does something to me. Serving on entourage for this reign really drove home how happy I get when I am serving. Mike, Liza, and Billy, God bless them eternally, taught me what it really means to be there for friends, and this was only their first or second event! I will never forget the kindness shown to me and so many others by so many people.

Now that the Grand Exhibition Tournament has passed, I'm going to be getting back into fighting more, too. I will never abandon archery. In many ways, I AM a bow. Simple enough to look at and understand, but put me under stress and I may surprise you! The longbow is my first love, one of my life's passions, and it will always be with me. But my dream, one of my life's goals since childhood, has always been to become a knight, and I can't do that with my bow.

Watching Drogo's vigil reminded me that there is more to knighthood than good combat, too. Matter of fact, of the knights whom Gleann Abhann has made, none of them had ever become king before their knighthood, and I can think of many other knights who have never won Crown List. This proves that skill alone is not what makes a man a knight.

They are warriors, leaders and servants all rolled up into one. On the tournament fields, they are brave enough to step onto it, clever enough to think on their feet, quick enough to strike at the right opportunity, and strong enough to carry it home. On the field of battle, they are inspiring enough to lead the men and women they command, obedient enough to receive the orders given to them from their Crown, and capable enough to carry them out effectively.
Off the fields, they are courteous to anyone and everyone they meet, always lending helping hands, ever kind enough to think of others before themselves.

First was Francois Duvant, who founded a dynasty of chivalry the world could never have anticipated. One of his squires was Beorn Collenferth, who squired Phelan Cathaoir-Mor, who squired Merwyyd of Effington, my household father, and Manfred von Rothenburg, who squired William Fitzhugh de Cambria, who will be the next (sixth) king of Gleann Abhann. But Francois's more famous squire was John the Bearkiller, who won Crown List on five separate occasions, and has taught and led men in combat for more than thirty years, and whose name is now recognized literally around the entire world. One of his squires was Lee Fribrand who has now become a legend, whose style is now the most copied style of fighting in the SCA, and whose name is now whispered with reverance as a man whose chivalry and kindness was, and still is, without equal. One of Lee's squires was Michael of the Mace, who has squired Caedmon of Jorvik and Katil, the lady who first got me into the SCA. Another of Lee's squires was mighty Luther von Ziemer, whose glaive is feared more than any other's in the kingdom, and who is the older brother to another of John the Bearkiller's squires, Uther von Ziemer, first knight of Gleann Abhann, and it's fifth king. I have already spoken of what I think of Uther, and I will not repeat the entire diatribe here; only that he is still everything I long to be in a knight, and the best fighter I have ever seen. To be his squire would be the pinnacle of honors, the highest I have ever received...but I think it is not to be. That also, is covered in an earlier post. Another of John's squires was Padruig dubh Cloghad, third king of Gleann Abhann, as well as Rey Ribeaument, Thomas of Aylesbury, and Andras Salamandra, who squired Lawrence of Ashana, who squired Gareth le Bruin, who famously gave up the white belt of knighthood.

There are others known around the SCA. Sir Trudy, the first female knight, and Sir Paul Bellatrix, who has sons and even grandsons by blood who have become dukes (someone who has won Crown List twice or more) were both at Gulf Wars, and Sir Trudy even wore my sword during Great Court. There are many other dynasties, too, such as that of Kane Redfeather, who squired many, such as Rashid ibn Hilal (who squired Sa'ad ibn Yusuf al Hilal and Dagan al Rashid ibn Hilal) Tar Radu, first king of Gleann Abhann, Loric Silvestris, Brian Mac Brand, and Stephan Wolfe, who squired Caillin Macleod, Elazar of Northumbria, Eric of Chester (who squired Uric Blackoak) and Aengus Mac Owein (who squired Seth of Newcastle).

These are but only a few of the men and women whose ranks I long to be counted among. They ARE chivalry. They are my dream.

They are soldiers.
They are heroes.

They are knights.

The Fun Shenanigan Flop

Well, it was meant to be more than it turned out to be, but it was still good! I had the costume, complete with cereal box, Josh turned up to film it, and there were maybe seven or eight other people there to chase me, including Billy, Mike, Emily Thrash, with her boyfriend Greg, a girl named Mellie, and a Theater major named William.

We all gathered at the breezeway between the Music and Theater Buildings and prepped everyone, saying the idea was to CHASE me, not CATCH me. The original intention was to run all the way down to Walker Avenue, but we barely ended up getting past the library! I'll be posting the whole thing on YouTube on Friday.

In retrospect, I think I can see what we needed to improve on. For one thing, I should have gotten permission for this much sooner so that I could start spreading the publicity for it much sooner, and thus have drawn a larger crowd. Secondly, I think I'll have someone I know make the costume for me, rather than dropping $60 for a costume I used once and must now return. Other than that, I think the only things are to get in better shape and actually scream "They're after me Lucky Charms!" as I'm running by the camera, instead of too early for the camera to hear.

Here's to next year! See you all then!

Disappointment, Lessons, and the Future

Wow, so much to blog about!

Hi, guys! I'm back! Gulf Wars was, as always, amazing! You pull onto site and you're back in time 800 years!

After I trolled in and said hello to friends I had not seen in a while, I checked in with entourage to let them know I was on site, then went to find a place to camp. I am NEVER coming to War without pre-registering again! The only open camping was all the way at the end of the world, on a slope. Not a bad one, but enough. After that, I parked my car and began to wander, looking for more friends, most of which I found.

This rest of War is one big blur. I was told early on that I had qualified for the Grand Exhibition Tournament, and that made my blood race, let me tell you! The contest was the day after I got there (arrived Wednesday evening) so the next morning, I bit the bullet and dropped $75 for new arrows. The ones I had were good, but they were ash, and I've been wanting something faster, for the sake of accuracy. Then I went to start practicing, after I had taken care of my throne duties.
The bridge battle that day ran way overtime, but that was to be expected. The contest was after it. I was one out of eleven who were competing with handbows (and I'm pretty sure mine was the only longbow, but I can't exactly remember) and there were two crossbow shooters. There were three others shooters from Gleann Abhann, two of whom I knew I could beat. Before the contest started, Her Majesty called us four over and gave us each a token for us to bear in the contest. I also had my lady's favor.
Right away, we could all tell that the one everyone else would have to beat was the man from Trimaris. I held my own, but I was so excited that my heart was pounding, and my head just wasn't in the game. I should have done much better than I did.
After the initial rounds, the scores were tallied, and the top three archers had a shootoff. Another GA archer and I tied for third, there was another GA archer in second, and the Trimarian was first. The shootoff followed as thus: The four of us went to the line to shoot the targets man by man. The first one to reach 24 points won the Tournament. Since the Trimarian had the most points, he got the first shot, then Daffyd, then Egill, then me. After we had all shot 5 arrows, we tallied the scores...and I was in the lead. I had 16 points, the Trimarian had 14, Daffyd had 12, and Egill had 10.
I could win this tournament with my next shot! All I had to do was nail the bull's eye, worth 8 points. The ring outside that was worth 4, and anything outside that was worth 2.
We went back to the line. The Trimarian shot and scored 2. That put him at 16. Now the pressure was REALLY on. If I didn't hit the bull's eye, then he got another shot, and if it hit the bull's eye, he would win. Then Daffyd shot. Then Egill...then me.

I was cocky. I didn't know it, and didn't think I was. Mentally, I was trying to stay humble...but actually, what I did was think that all I had to do was pull the string back, point it at the target, let it go, and the arrow would somehow magically find the bull's eye. I let my concentration go, and it cost me. The arrow landed in the 4 ring. That put me at 20.
But then the Trimarian scored a 4! That put him at 20, which meant I got another shot, too! NOW all I had to do was make it inside the 4 ring! Even easier, right?!
But again, my overconfidence was my undoing. As the arrow popped the target, it practically sounded my death knell. It was a 2. I had 22 points. Which meant the Trimarian got a third shot.

Well, it was too much to hope that he would miss a third time, and he didn't. He scored another 4, which put him at 24. The winning score. Even though we all knew it, Daffyd, Egill and I took our shots anyway. At the final count, the numbers said I had tied the leader, but the rules of the shoot said that whoever got to 24 FIRST won the contest, and since he had shot first, he had done that.

It still hurts. I don't mind losing, as long as I know that those who beat me are my superiors, and yes, this Trimarian was very much the winner of the day. But if I had truly done my best...if I had actually concentrated, and held onto that string another instant, a mere breath of extra thought...the day would have been mine. Of course, everyone who heard about it and knew me gave me their congratulations at coming in second, having bested every other archer in Gleann Abhann, and I am proud of that, at least. This tournament taught me a few things. 1). Never EVER assume that you've got the contest "sewn up" and won. Always concentrate, aim, and shoot to win. 2). I now know for a fact that my skill can match and even sometimes surpass the finest archers not just in the kingdom, but in the Knowne World. Not bad, eh?

Mike, Liza and Billy showed up later that night. I helped them get settled, then we all went to go wandering, mostly ending up going through Merchant's Row, and then the dance revels. There's a revel every night, and I try to dance with as many different people as I can. This year, not only did I find a surplus of partners, but I also made new friends and proved to be rather popular, if I do say so myself! They ended up asking me more often than I asked them!

After that day, War was a mix of moving thrones, wandering, watching battles, eating, playing cards, or dancing. Saturday, it was announced that Drogo of Axbridge was being put on vigil to become a knight. He was at my first event, 7 years and 2 months ago, so I hung around in line for a few hours to give him my congratulations. While I waited, I had a long conversation with a Laurel...about becoming an apprentice.

A Laurel is for arts and sciences what a Knight is for combat, and a Pelican is for service. They are equals, and being asked to be an apprentice is like becoming a squire. We had a long talk about our mutual interests, what we had to learn from each other, and expectations of each other. It was a good talk, and I look forward to whatever lies ahead with my peer.

My friends and I loved the War. On Sunday, as everyone was packing up, they got to meet Uther and Kenna on a very personal level, and I'm very glad they did. Mike, Liza, and Billy are hooked.

Today's the ST. Patty's Day Chase! I'll post about that later. It's so good to be home!

Best Wishes!

Well, I didn't think I'd get the opportunity for a last blog before I leave for GW, but I do! Yay, blogging!

Nothing much has been going on, really. I made the flyers and picked up the costume for my St. Patty's Day shenanigan. I wish I had practiced more for the tournament, but now I'm scared I might not be able to be involved. I keep thinking I may have missed the cutoff date for some sort of registration I didn't know about, or something.

It's going to be busy, once I get there. Check in with entourage, sign up for shifts, set up the tent and garb up. The next day will be entourage and the tournament, and then Billy, Mike and Liza will get there, so that will be interesting. On Friday, Caitlin gets there!

It's been quite a while since I saw her. She lives in Louisiana, and school has kept her away from the SCA recently, but she's been getting back into it, and I look forward to seeing her again. Another one of my little sisters I love so much.

I've never felt this kind of...pressure in the SCA before. There's the tournament, entourage, and being in charge of three newbies that gives me quite the feelings of responsibility. I think it's a good thing. If I can handle it right, it will show me how much I've grown up...and I want to find that out.

C you guys Sunday evening! God bless! Love you all!

Home again, Home again

Ah, it's good to be home! I didn't really know how much I missed it until I met up with Dave and K.C. and we started playing games again, and then Josh joined us! I love my friends, I really, really do.

We stopped for the night in Fort Smith, Arkansas, and then got on the road again in the morning by around 9. There wasn't too much trouble until we started running into the traffic jams. Two semis had turned over on the side of the road in two different places, and it held us up a bit, but not by much.

Looking back over the trip, I realize how sad I am about two things: 1. that the trip was meant to be so much more (read my previous journal entries about it) and 2. that I realize how incredibly selfish I was the entire time...well, ok, maybe not all the time, but I could have been a LOT less self-centered. Gonna have to do better next time.

This week's gonna be packed. First church, then lunch, then finish typing a take-home test, then on Monday I've got classes, one of which is a midterm, and after class on Teusday I have to find a leprechaun costume for NEXT Monday (ask me about my St. Patty's Day shenanigan) before TKD class and then bells, and then I leave for Gulf Wars Wednesday! Yay for busy!

::sigh:: Peter Pan Syndrome again

Well, it's my last time to post before we leave. I didn't get to post Wednesday, because in Silver City, there is no Internet reception. Sorry, readers.

Joanne is another one of those little sisters I never had. Like Katie and Shelby, or my SCA sisters, Elena and Caitlin. She and I ride together, walk together, talk together, think together, play together, and laugh together. This time, though, the visit was almos cruelly short. The girls had school, so we did not see them until they got home, but once they were home, everything was fun, with talk about blades, games of poker, and much talk and laughter. The next morning, though, Sarah had school, and Joanne got to stay home for the first half of the day, but it wasn't near enough, and then we had to leave early to make it back home to Aunt Sally's for dinner. But dinner was good, too.

We talked a lot about old times. We found a picture that had been taken in January of 1984. I wasn't even a year old, yet. Jesse, Melanie, David and I all reminisced. Almost made me tear up.

Tonight, my brother, cousin Jesse, his girl Allie, and I al had a last hurrah before we leave tomorrow morning, and it was fitting. We're all grown up, now. I'll probably be proposing to my lady next summer, Megan had Danny, and Uncle Dick had Tommy, so they're around the same age (9 or so) and they are the second generation of us. Now Elise has Aiden and Megan has Tyler, and they're around the same age, too (2, maybe?). Life goes full circle, and I guess I cannot let go of the old without tears. They were such happy, happy times. But then, I remember Brad Paisley's song lyrics "Have no fear, these are nowhere near the best years of your life!" Or the old poem "Come, grow old with me, the best is yet to be!"

It's an enormous test, growing up. It tests your trust and faith in God that you can accomplish it, and that He is in control of everything. Here's to passing with flying colors!

NM Trip, Journal IV

Finally! A day there's more to post about!

For some strange reason, I woke up pretty early, this morning. Much earlier than usual, that's for sure! I was able to get in a few practice rounds, and did pretty well. I finally broke the bad arrow of my set, so there's nothing to worry about. All my arrows shoot about the same, now. After that, Mom and I drove into town to make a little exchange...

You see, yesterday, I picked up a new toy! My new katana that I bought with the money Evan gave me. I like it a lot. The tsuba (that's Japanese for "guard") is more decorative than my last one, and the blade's nicer. I think I got a pretty good deal out of the whole thing. The problem was that the sword I picked up yesterday came with a slightly bent tip, so we went to replace it today.

After we came back home, I threw my knife for a while, and then it was time to go to Aunt Pat's and ride horses for an hour or so! I wanted to canter, but Pat said it wouldn't be good while the other horses were around, so I didn't get the chance. I might get to tomorrow!

We went to dinner at the house of my cousin Elise and her husband. He has two daughters, and together, they have a two year old son who kept us quite entertained! It was a good night.

Tomorrow, we get to the highlight of the trip, for me! Uncle Dave and Aunt Leesa have two daughters Sarah and Joanne, and Joanne and I love to ride together! Of course, we'll also be playing poker with pennies and talking for hours about blades and steel, and all that sort of thing! Gonna be a great time!

NM trip, Journal III

Well, we were supposed to go riding today...that didn't happen. Instead, we puttered around the house again, though we did get to see cousins with their babies as they stopped by the house! After dinner, David and I et Jesse, who took us to a neat little bar in town, and we just sat and talked, again. Argh! Tomorrow's post WILL be longer, I promise!

NM trip, Journal II

Not much happening, today. Wake up, wander, throw knife, go eat lunch with the family, come home, get online because it's WAY too windy to shoot, and that's about it. But the conversations are great! I've been talking with a man known in the SCA as Master Erik of Telemark, and he's a great guy. He's been getting really interested in archery, and he's beencoming to me for advice and questions (probably because I'm the only person he knows that does archery and that he sees online at the same time). It's very flattering, and I hope my advice helps him.

I also got a letter from a friend of mine today. She and her husband are in the Army in Korea, and her family...well, is giving her a hard time for some reason she doesn't know. Pray for her, please. She needs all the encouragement she can get.

Sorry about the short post, readers. Tomorrow's should be better, since we might get to go riding.

Speaking of readers! Since I've gotten that handy-dandy little Clickr Map, I've noticed that people are reading my posts in places I don't know anyone! People in Kansas, Texas, Alaska, California and someone up around the Nashville area, too. I'm flattered! Now, if only I could get all these nice people to comment more often...

NM trip, Journal I

Hello, readers, from the Land of Enchantment! I woke early Friday morning, packed, went to class, came home, and we left! We drove nine and a half hours before finally stopping in Elk City, Oklahoma for the night, and the next day, we drove another nine hours and got here around 5:30 for a grand total of about 18 or 19 hours of driving. It wasn't too bad. I finished reading my book (I just KNEW I should have brought the sequels) and slept, so it went pretty fast, if a bit uncomfy.

Once we got here, I shot a few shots around the backyard and went to see cousins next door, then dinner, then my brother and I went over to Jesse's house and met his roommates and girlfriend. It was a good time, just sitting there talking about things. Hope to do more in the days ahead!

Plans, Memories, Reflections, And Thrills!

Yay, Spring Break next week! After class on Friday, my family and I leave for New Mexico! Gonna spend a week there visiting my Dad's family, and that's always fun. One of Dad's sisters raises horses, and we always go riding. It's a great time. My favorite cousin Joanne also has horses, and she and I love to ride together. She's a great girl.

We get back from that on Sunday. The Wednesday after that, Billy and I leave for Gulf Wars! The next day, Mike and Liza join me there! Gulf Wars is always the highlight of my SCA year, and there is truly no experience like it in the world. This year, however, it is special because of an event that literally makes any lover-of-archery's mouth water: The First Annual Grand Exhibition Tournament!
Let me put this into perspective for you. Out of more than 400 archers AROUND THE WORLD, only the top 10 that show up get to compete! Right now, I'm ranked around #45. Not bad, but I know I can do better. I've been practicing! Yesterday I stopped by Ty's place and put in an hour of shooting, as well as picking up a new shooting glove. I think it's going to help a lot! Today, I put in another hour. I tell you what, the new glove helps my release a lot. I think I'm getting consistent enough to really count, now. Once I make the switch back to cedar shafts, I think I'll be able to attain that position I've been dreaming of my whole life...#1.

You know those daydreams you've always had about being the best? Being recognized for accomplishing some outstanding achievement that's never been done, or that no one else could do? Most people have little things in life that give them some small feeling like that every day. I've accomplished that once before. Back in 2000 I became a national champion in the Choong-Sil Taekwondo Federation. I was 17. In my head, it was my last chance to accomplish that, because after I turned 18, I would go up an age bracket and begin competing in the 18-32 year olds division, and it scared me to absolute death. There are World Champions on an Olympic caliber in there, and I did NOT want to have to fight them for a title.
But I did win that year, and the next year, I stepped up, and I found myself unexpectedly able to hold my own with them, though I never really won. It was a feeling of enormous satisfaction and confidence. Now I get to try the same thing in the sport that was and is the partner passion in my life to martial arts: archery.
Even if I come in dead last, the fact that I even get to compete among archers of this skill level is both incredibly humbling...and the rush of a lifetime!

The day after we get back from that, I pull my much-anticipated St. Patrick's Day Chase! Ask me for more details. The only thing everyone REALLY needs to know is that they should meet me between the Music Building and the Theater Building on campus around 2:15 on Monday, St. Patrick's Day! I look forward to seeing everyone there!