First, I want to say "Thank you." I had no idea what to expect when I made that last post after such a long silence, but the response from people I love so much was amazing. I love you guys.
Tonight, I sit here forlorn in front of the TV finding even Home Improvement and MASH unable to cure my blues. I never thought it would get to THAT point. Somehow, the mishaps on Tool Time and 4077 have never failed to bring a smile, and they've been my televisionic(?) home away from home.
God, it feels good to rant. I am struck this evening at the incredible range of emotions within the human heart. How is it that this thing pumping life-giving blood throughout the entire expanse of our incredible body is also the symbol of two such drastically contrasting and opposed feelings?
One feeling is marvelously beneficial! It reduces stress and leads to activities such as laughter, which increases the blood flow throughout the human system. The incredible physiological relief a smile makes is well-nigh unimaginable, to say nothing of the heavenly thrill, the gloriously gorgeous, most satisfying, most pleasing, most perfectly passionate feeling the human heart can experience... true love...
In many ways, it is even more than just a feeling... it is the lifeblood of cultures, the muse of poets, storytellers and musicians. Men and women throughout History have yearned for it, reveled in it and ultimately even died for want of it. Wars have been waged over it, the weak, penniless and pitiful have become great only when inspired by it and royalty has fallen because of it. It is the sweet fruit of love that has enticed the entire human race since God created Eve, and once tasted, never truly fades away. Its lingering tang can still be experienced by the heart for decades after the first bittersweet jolt of Cupid's arrow has surged through the body...
And so it is thus that only after such unreachable heights have been attained that unprecedented falls can be happened upon. The higher one goes, the farther one falls. I must apologize for this continuing vein of topic, but I guess I just haven't finished falling yet.
God, I never thought I could feel such things in my life! It was all so unutterably, tenderly... crystal clear! It was like floating on a Summer's twilight atop a pool of purest water, as smooth as glass...
Shattered. That's what this is, or at least, it's what it feels like. I'm not broken. I'm still here, and I'm not going anywhere... but I feel like a window smashed through with a brick, and the glass is still falling. Maybe once it's done I can start picking up the pieces again... but I doubt my heart will ever be the same.
But then... there's always hope, isn't there?
The way I see it, there are two things I can hope for: I can hope to get past this feeling quickly and be thankful for having experienced it, or I can hope for things to turn around, or to even learn from my mistakes and experiences and turn them around myself, and make things be the way they always should have been.
Story of my life: Hope Springs Eternal. Only time will be able to tell what's going to happen.
About Me
- Bobby
- I think I found out last year that my chief passion is archery. I do nothing as often as I shoot. But it's all traditional. I only shoot stickbow.
The Hunter's Map
2 comments:
Hope springs eternal in the human breast:
Man never is, but always to be blest:
The soul, uneasy and confined from home,
Rests and expiates in a life to come.
—Alexander Pope
Today, I just feel moved to remind you that we are not to put our hope in love, but in the One who loved us first and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Love is a gift of God, perhaps you could say the gift of God. He first loved us; He gave us the ability to love all people, the ability to love some in a special way (as friends and/or siblings in Christ), the ability to love one in a devoted way, and the ability to become lovely in His sight.
I do not mean to diminish your heartbreak in any way, but I do want to remind you that love is not gone. Love Himself still o’erbounds with love for you, and still has a plan (I believe) to set the feet of your heart on the high places of love. “Let not your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me.”
So, maybe I misspoke. You should trust in Love.
Bobby, my heart bleeds for you...sympathy is another emotion of the heart. Love hurts, yes, but it is so beautiful, too. You may have lost this human love, but how paltry it is in the face of God's love! He is waiting to cover you in it -- you have but to ask. Maedhros said it best, so perhaps I should be silent. Please just know that you are still loved, and that there will be another springtime for you.
Post a Comment