Yes, the picture changed again. This doesn't mean my attitudes or beliefs have changed. It's just to reflect the subject matter discussed in the post.
It's about balance this time; balance in life, that is. I'm a person of emotional extremes. I've talked about all of them often enough, whether in real life or on this blog; you know, the times of "I hate this world, I wanna go away, live in the forest as a hermit the rest of my life!" But then of course, I get to that point and remember what I was, and what I hoped to be: that glorious, shining example of knighthood, and I think to myself "Maybe I can still get there." My friends and family are always my most help during these times. They coax me back out of the forest so that I can get back to living life the way it should be lived. And then there are also the times of frivolous carelessness, when I get carried away with the giddiness of life and all its joys, which is a wonderful thing!
But I need to learn moderation. In all things, there must be an equilibrium.
So. The Hunter, the Knight and the Jester combine into one person: me! But then, there are probably a lot more aspects to me that could be pointed out and personified. Anyone care to share? I enjoy learning new things about myself, whether they be good or bad. Don't be shy!
P.S. The picture is one of a series my friend took out at my place. I tried to make the shots as period as possible, including my clothing and equipment. The tunic is brand new, and is bar-none the most period piece of clothing I've got. It's wool, and the style dates back to Europe in the early 13th century. Most of my other equipment is a hodge-podge collection from different people, but no less period (except that my bow is made of osage, a purely New World material; but it's still an English longbow, whose design dates back to before the Crusades). I didn't have any period gloves, so I thought it better to shoot without them, rather than have glaring anachronisms thrown in there. The rest of the pics taken that day (as well as many more!) can be found here: http://archeroftoday.deviantart.com/gallery/
Monday, December 22, 2008
Monday, December 15, 2008
Stand
I never thought the holidays could be considered days of industry. I always thought of them as times of frantic shopping, planning, partying and church preparation. This past SCA event, Christmas Revel, was a lot of fun, and it seems to have left me with a sense of production.
My friend Uther was rewarded for the fact that the appearance of his hard kit (his fighting gear) has been getting more and more accurate to his time period (the late 1100's). He now fights in a German Crusader-era helm and a padded gambeson. All the rest of his protective armor is covered. When he fights, he looks as if he just stepped off the pages of an illuminated manuscript!
His family has done a heck of a lot for me, so I'm trying to put a lot of thought into their Christmas presents. Of course, most of that wouldn't be anything bought, but a lot of things made. It's interesting. I've never made this much for people before.
What is it that happens in the mind when one is inspired? What trigger is pulled that makes one want to do more, greater, better things? Is it some sort of chemical reaction? I doubt it. I think that's the difference between lust and love. One is entirely shallow, the other is deep and lasting.
I've never made a New Year's resolution before. There are too many things in my head that can change for the better. Where should I start? At first, the superficial: developing the better looking armor for my period and making lots of other things (since I am an apprentice, after all). Then there are the deeper changes. I'll be going back to school soon. I'm still an assistant instructor in martial arts, and I might even be taking on some private students of my own, too.
I'm uncertain about what I'll be going up against next semester, besides classes and my own psyche. School (not lessons or learning) has always been my enemy, hated and despised, but it is all but conquered. Only three semesters left, God willing.
I've already talked about personal changes in my last post. I think of this one as an affirmation... that, and I just had to find an excuse to put up the new pic I found! Yeah, he's a Hospitaller, not a Templar, and the armor's a bit late for me, and there are too many straps on him... but it's still cool. I had to remove the title and description of my blog because it obscured his head. When I change the pic, they'll go back up.
My friend Uther was rewarded for the fact that the appearance of his hard kit (his fighting gear) has been getting more and more accurate to his time period (the late 1100's). He now fights in a German Crusader-era helm and a padded gambeson. All the rest of his protective armor is covered. When he fights, he looks as if he just stepped off the pages of an illuminated manuscript!
His family has done a heck of a lot for me, so I'm trying to put a lot of thought into their Christmas presents. Of course, most of that wouldn't be anything bought, but a lot of things made. It's interesting. I've never made this much for people before.
What is it that happens in the mind when one is inspired? What trigger is pulled that makes one want to do more, greater, better things? Is it some sort of chemical reaction? I doubt it. I think that's the difference between lust and love. One is entirely shallow, the other is deep and lasting.
I've never made a New Year's resolution before. There are too many things in my head that can change for the better. Where should I start? At first, the superficial: developing the better looking armor for my period and making lots of other things (since I am an apprentice, after all). Then there are the deeper changes. I'll be going back to school soon. I'm still an assistant instructor in martial arts, and I might even be taking on some private students of my own, too.
I'm uncertain about what I'll be going up against next semester, besides classes and my own psyche. School (not lessons or learning) has always been my enemy, hated and despised, but it is all but conquered. Only three semesters left, God willing.
I've already talked about personal changes in my last post. I think of this one as an affirmation... that, and I just had to find an excuse to put up the new pic I found! Yeah, he's a Hospitaller, not a Templar, and the armor's a bit late for me, and there are too many straps on him... but it's still cool. I had to remove the title and description of my blog because it obscured his head. When I change the pic, they'll go back up.
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
Who shall I become?
A few days ago, I was completely shocked. I was told something I had never been told before, had never stopped to think about before, would never have even remotely considered before.
I was being reprimanded (and rightly so) for my lack of ambition in the SCA. I have said before that I am a slacker. I tend to prefer things being done for me, rather than doing them myself. This is going to change. A lot of things are going to change. I have not been living up to my responsibilities, and my priorities have been out of whack. There were other things said that I don’t entirely remember, and other things that were said that I will be able to recall sixty years from now with perfect clarity.
“You are a leader.”
That was the essence of it. I could not believe it, and when it was told to my face, I sat back in stunned silence. The person telling me this continued: “I’ve seen you with your friends. You don’t follow them around. They follow you.”
The honor of the person telling me this is above suspicion. Deception is a concept foreign to them, and flattery is almost completely unknown to them. They were telling me what they believe to be the honest truth.
I’m not sure I entirely comprehend it, yet, and I’m not even sure if I fully believe it. Honest they may be, but perhaps also misguided, but then again, I doubt it.
I begin to question my personal motives. In all the daydreams of my life, in all of my romantic imagined scenes of my days, never have I even once entertained notions of being a leader. I’ve never wanted it. There’s too much responsibility that goes along with it for my taste. I have no desire for power over anyone or anything but my own life. I enjoy shooting and helping when and where I can, even going so far as to teach anyone who wants to learn whatever it is I can offer them… but not lead them. I’ve never imagined doing anything remotely resembling leadership. I’ve never been a role model before, or an example. I’ve always imagined myself as a soldier, not a commander, and I’ve been happy that way.
I suppose it’s good to question your beliefs every once in a while. It re-affirms what you believe and gets rid of the things you thought you believed in, but really don’t anymore. For sixteen years, I have been a student, a disciple, of “constant and never ending improvement.” But tonight I ask myself “Why?”
Why do I believe this? Why have I not abandoned this idea, or why has it not left me? Mostly, I think because I began to live by it in my youth. I was not even ten when I began to hear the initial teachings of this philosophy. Anyway, that’s one reason. I’m sure there are others, and they come to mind, but I don’t entirely feel like putting them all down tonight.
What I’m more concerned with right now is what I said earlier, about questioning beliefs. In short… “Why is everyone so obsessed with improvement?”
Isn’t there such a concept as being content, anymore? Can there be no time for leisure, for rest, for enjoyment in the status quo, the way things are? Is it human nature to always want more? I think there would be a heck of a lot less stress in the general world if people learned to let things be, that sometimes, there isn’t any improvement needed.
But then, I guess some things are just meant to be. Honestly, I hope they’re wrong. I enjoy the thought of being asked to do something because I’m trustworthy and capable (granted, something I need to work on). I never wanted to be a leader, and I’ve never asked for it… but that doesn’t mean I’ll dodge it.
For the first time in my life, I really begin to find myself open to the idea of a destiny outside the realm of romance. I’ve never believed in that kind of thing. I always thought a person’s life is what they make it, but of course, there’s always the delight of finding out what God wants you to do with your life… and then there’s this… part of you that you have no control over… sometimes, we can control what we learn… other times, we have no choice in the matter. A lesson is impressed upon our subconscious and we are changed because of it. Sometimes, it’s not even a lesson… It’s just something that’s given to you. Part of your character, I suppose. Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, I was saying that character is something that can be shaped by someone other than you… and it’s done for a reason.
I don’t know what it is. I know that my name means “Shining Fame” and I always assumed that meant I was destined to have many good friends. I know that for the first time, I am not entirely opposed to the idea of being a leader, even though I never ever would have seen it coming if someone else had not pointed it out to me. I know that should I not be asked to become a leader, I will be happy, but I also know that if I am asked to do so… I will not be alone and I will be equipped for it.
I was being reprimanded (and rightly so) for my lack of ambition in the SCA. I have said before that I am a slacker. I tend to prefer things being done for me, rather than doing them myself. This is going to change. A lot of things are going to change. I have not been living up to my responsibilities, and my priorities have been out of whack. There were other things said that I don’t entirely remember, and other things that were said that I will be able to recall sixty years from now with perfect clarity.
“You are a leader.”
That was the essence of it. I could not believe it, and when it was told to my face, I sat back in stunned silence. The person telling me this continued: “I’ve seen you with your friends. You don’t follow them around. They follow you.”
The honor of the person telling me this is above suspicion. Deception is a concept foreign to them, and flattery is almost completely unknown to them. They were telling me what they believe to be the honest truth.
I’m not sure I entirely comprehend it, yet, and I’m not even sure if I fully believe it. Honest they may be, but perhaps also misguided, but then again, I doubt it.
I begin to question my personal motives. In all the daydreams of my life, in all of my romantic imagined scenes of my days, never have I even once entertained notions of being a leader. I’ve never wanted it. There’s too much responsibility that goes along with it for my taste. I have no desire for power over anyone or anything but my own life. I enjoy shooting and helping when and where I can, even going so far as to teach anyone who wants to learn whatever it is I can offer them… but not lead them. I’ve never imagined doing anything remotely resembling leadership. I’ve never been a role model before, or an example. I’ve always imagined myself as a soldier, not a commander, and I’ve been happy that way.
I suppose it’s good to question your beliefs every once in a while. It re-affirms what you believe and gets rid of the things you thought you believed in, but really don’t anymore. For sixteen years, I have been a student, a disciple, of “constant and never ending improvement.” But tonight I ask myself “Why?”
Why do I believe this? Why have I not abandoned this idea, or why has it not left me? Mostly, I think because I began to live by it in my youth. I was not even ten when I began to hear the initial teachings of this philosophy. Anyway, that’s one reason. I’m sure there are others, and they come to mind, but I don’t entirely feel like putting them all down tonight.
What I’m more concerned with right now is what I said earlier, about questioning beliefs. In short… “Why is everyone so obsessed with improvement?”
Isn’t there such a concept as being content, anymore? Can there be no time for leisure, for rest, for enjoyment in the status quo, the way things are? Is it human nature to always want more? I think there would be a heck of a lot less stress in the general world if people learned to let things be, that sometimes, there isn’t any improvement needed.
But then, I guess some things are just meant to be. Honestly, I hope they’re wrong. I enjoy the thought of being asked to do something because I’m trustworthy and capable (granted, something I need to work on). I never wanted to be a leader, and I’ve never asked for it… but that doesn’t mean I’ll dodge it.
For the first time in my life, I really begin to find myself open to the idea of a destiny outside the realm of romance. I’ve never believed in that kind of thing. I always thought a person’s life is what they make it, but of course, there’s always the delight of finding out what God wants you to do with your life… and then there’s this… part of you that you have no control over… sometimes, we can control what we learn… other times, we have no choice in the matter. A lesson is impressed upon our subconscious and we are changed because of it. Sometimes, it’s not even a lesson… It’s just something that’s given to you. Part of your character, I suppose. Yeah, that’s it. Anyway, I was saying that character is something that can be shaped by someone other than you… and it’s done for a reason.
I don’t know what it is. I know that my name means “Shining Fame” and I always assumed that meant I was destined to have many good friends. I know that for the first time, I am not entirely opposed to the idea of being a leader, even though I never ever would have seen it coming if someone else had not pointed it out to me. I know that should I not be asked to become a leader, I will be happy, but I also know that if I am asked to do so… I will not be alone and I will be equipped for it.
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