Ups and Downs

So! Yesterday was...frightening, and fun at the same time. Lanelle's sickness got so bad that her stomach started paining her in a way she had never felt before. I felt helpless. All I could do was hold her, pray for her and ply her with warm water, which eventually helped. After a nap, she was right as rain. The rest of the day was spent in getting ready for her father's New Year's Eve Eve party, which was a wine tasting party. I didn't partake, but I learned a lot about wine, taste, its legs, aroma, and anything else you can care to name. Lanelle's dad (Harold) is quite the conesseur (I know I didn't spell that right. Sorry!) Along with the wine tasting, we also did what are called "Party Pieces." It's an Irish tradition. You get up in front of everyone and share something, be it a song, poem, skit, whatever else have you. The idea is that yopu're giving people a piece of yourself, but it doesn't have to be that. Most of them were downright hilarious! Harold and I performed a piece by Seamus Kennedy called "To Moro." Great song, and he's really good at the gyuitar, and the notes were right there in the perfect range for both of us! Lanelle and I did a segment from the Princess Bride (The Battle of Wits. She played Wesley's part, and I played Vizzini.) I was the last to put on a party piece. I sang an SCA song called "Fruit of the Yew."

Today was spent mostly in happy nervousness. I asked Harold if he wanted to have lunch together...just him and me. We went out for Mexican. He shared some great stories with me, and I got to know him much better.What I was nervous about was when I told him my intentions regarding Lanelle. I told him about my promise to myself not to propose to anyone until I had at least graduated college (only 3 more semesters! Boo yah!) and I wouldn't get married until at least after I had a job that could support at least me and someone else. He agreed and stressed the wisdom and importance of waiting. I left lunch feeling quite relieved. He's a great man, a very wise one, and a very Godly man who has done a wonderful job doing what he can to raise four children every other week.
After I got back from lunch, the day was spent in a mad frenzy cleaning house, preparing for New Year's. Mostly, I think I helped most by staying out of people's way, and I kept Lanelle's younger brother, Aven, occupied with martial arts videos and parkour videos online. He's a good kid, I like him.

Tomorrow...who knows? Keep watching!

Sickness not good.

Sorry I didn't post yesterday. Got a bit busy taking care of things. Lanelle and I went swimming yesterday, and we enjoyed the hot tub, too! There were other people around, and they were friendly, so we made some new friends. Always good!

Other than that, the only thing of note was that I made dinner, and it went over really well with everyone It didn't come off quite the way I'd hoped. I like iceberg lettuce, they like Romaine, and I should have made it more like taco sauce rather than just having the ground beef. I did pick up quite the lessons on spicing the meat! With dinner we watched Prince of Egypt, which was great!...then we found out about Lanelle's fever. She started getting chills pretty bad, so we bundled her up and darn near shoved meds down her as fast as she could take them...but she's better now!

More to come, later!

It's colder here,...but I don't care, this time!

Colorado! I'm finally here! I finally get to hold my lady again, and do all sorts of things with her that I've missed doing so much!

I woke this morning around 4:45 because my flight left the airport at 7:10. I went to Dallas for my layover, which was an hour, and then two hours after that! I was running to Lanelle!

We didn't do too much this first day. I made plans to cook dinner for everyone tomorrow night, and that should be fun! (Guys, take note! How to win her: Learn to dance. How to keep her: Learn to cook!) Other than that, we just watched Meet the Robinsons, and went over to Lanelle's dad's place to watch Clue by the fire.

There's a lot of snow, here. More than all the snow Memphis gets in an entire year. The cold is bitter, but the glow I feel in her smile is more than enough to warm me.

There's so much we've planned to do! Skiing, skating, movies (LOTS of movies!), reading, restaurants, shopping, and more! I can't wait to get to it all!

I'll be using this blog as a day by day journal, like I did on Yahoo for my trip to Scotland. Look for my post tomorrow!

Symbolism

I am one of the many around the world that is fascinated with symbols and their history (heck, I'm a nut for History, period!). I enjoy finding out what pictures mean, and where they came from. National Treasure and it's sequel are two of my favorite flicks for that reason.

As I write this, in just under 83 hours I will with my beloved lady once more. I will run to her, catch her up, and cling to her as if I have not seen her in years, laughing with joy all the while, shouting her name! But the depth of my love for Lanelle and the time of the year are such that they influence me to delve deeper within myself. I have been searching for the perfect gift for her for some time, now, and I finally believe I have found it, not in some store, or from someone else, but within me, inspired by Something (read "Someone") far greater than I.

My relationship with my love is nothing without God. He alone intended us for one another, brought us together, sparked the flame of love within our hearts, and began to bring us closer to each other by inspiring us to push each other closer to Him! What a tangled, yet beautiful web He weaves! Because of His planning, influence, and guidance, I have experienced a love story the likes of which I have heard of only in fairy tales! I owe Him everything...thus, it stands to reason that the best way to honor Lanelle is to honor God. My gift to her will be a promise beyond promises. A vow to set down into stone as eternally unalterable, save by God alone.

I speak of the Magic of Three. No, I make no unintended references to "Charmed." I speak of Ecclesiastes: "A triple-braided rope is not easily broken."

The first symbolisms: The Father, and myself.
The first stanza of this vow shall speak of Creation, and the foundation of great and powerful things to come.

The second symbolisms: The Son, and Lanelle.
The second stanza shall speak of The Wakening of Valor, and of the inspiration to stand against all difficulties, no matter what enemies may rise to bar my way towards Heaven and her.

The third symbolisms: The Holy Spirit, and God Himself.
The third stanza shall be an open-ended conclusion, saying that though one part of the journey is over, it shall ever continue in an upward climb towards improvement (a nod to my taekwondo training), Heaven and heroism.

Because this vow is so important, I must take my time composing it, and again, because it is so important, I intend to memorize it and only speak it aloud three times in my life. The first time shall be on her next birthday, January 1st. The second shall be on the day I propose to her, and the third shall be on my wedding day (though I also intend to write my own wedding vows separately).

I humbly ask for prayer in these endeavors, my friends. I am not the most creative of minds, and I am far from the most disciplined. But this opportunity for conquering my own stubborn will, which I have waited and longed for all my life but never had the inspiration for, shall not pass by me unsnatched! I pray that my best effort to put down in writing all that is in my heart becomes everything I want to express to her, my dear lady, my precious love, Lanelle.

As always, I ask for prayers that God will build up my Strength, and my Wisdom. All else follows from those two elements.

Thank you, my friends. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year's, I love you all, and God bless you!

Lawhead writes of my Heroes!

I owe Dave and K.C. bigtime for getting me a really cool book for Christmas: "Hood" by Stephen Lawhead. To begin with, Lawhead has been one of my absolute favorite authors since I was a kid, because he writes about what I want to read! I've read his Dragon King Trilogy, his solo book Byzantium, and his Song of Albion Trilogy as well.

Lawhead writes of heroes, both known an unknown. My first exposure to him was when I read the first books of the Pendragon Cycle. Surprisingly, though, there is not just one main character. There are different ones in each book (there are six in the series, of which I have read five). The first book "Taliesin" is set on both the Island of Britain and, until it sinks, the continent of Atlantis. It tells of the separate ancestries of the bard and the princess who eventually become the parents of Merlin, which is the title of the second book.

It tells of his struggles to bring peace to a nation divided by power-hungry tyrants, and his part in the battles on the side of Aurelius Ambrosius, and his brother, Uther.

The third book is named "Arthur." This is the story of his growing up, learning to fight, to govern, and become the hero king the prophecies foretold.

The fourth book is called "Pendragon" and tells the story of what Merlin calls "The Forgotten War." Britain is invaded by a host called the Vandali, and this is the story of Arthur's rise from strategic genius to matchless warrior.

The fifth book is "Grail." You can guess what this one is!

The legends of King Arthur have captivated millions for hundreds of years, probably more than a thousand years, by now! Lawhead's obvious area of interest in Britain is in Wales, where he believes the ancient Celtic spirit most vibrantly and vividly survives, even perhaps to this day. A unique and interesting version of the story, it has now become my favorite.

But Arthur is only one half of my Idyllic Heroes. Of all the monarchs in History, there are none I long to meet more than he in heaven. However, there is another hero, more like myself, whom I long to shake hands with behind the Pearly Gates, and now Lawhead has brought him too, to life!


I'm not sure what to explain first; the story, or why Lawhead chose to tell it the way he did. This version of Robin Hood defies modern literature and every possible romance novel I can think of that puts Robin in his stereotypical setting, for Lawhead has transported him into a different country, and two centuries into the past!

The main character of "Hood" is a boy, Bran ap Brychan (the term "ap" in Welsh means "son of" like "Mac" in Scottish or Irish). In 1093, William Rufus, son of the Conqueror, is expanding his kingdom into Wales, and assigning those who are loyal to him to occupy and govern lands that do not belong to him. They are invaders, vile and despised by most, and welcomed by few. Bran, his father and warband cut down, with a price on his head, flees, only to be wounded in the forest, where he almost dies from exposure, starvation, and his wounds. He is found by a very old woman, who heals him, and awakens in Bran the sparks of responsibility and maturity. Now, instead of abandoning his people, who look to him for leadership, he takes on the role of a freedom fighter, making his home in the forest.

I could not put the book down, and finished it in two days (though granted, they were not consecutive days)! He brings new life to old characters, like Little John, Friar Tuck, Maid Marian, Will Scarlet, the greedy Bishop of Hereford, and the evil Guy of Gisborne. I simply cannot wait to find the second book in the series "Scarlet"!

Now then: the reason Lawhead puts my heroes in the Welsh light. To me, it makes perfect sense. Most scholars make Arthur a Celtic chieftain who fought off the Saxon invaders for a while after the Romans left in the A.D. 500's. As poets and troubadours tell the stories of heroes, they retell and revise their stories to include known locales and historic figures the people would recognize to make their stories come more alive, and more vivid. In Britain, these stories, especially that of Arthur, became "anglicized," and Lawhead reasons that the same thing must have happened to Robin Hood!

I spent a pleasant time this evening doing something I love more than almost anything else in the world: shooting around the backyard with my Dad! In terms of skill, I think I am the more consistent, but Dad keeps very good pace with me, and I know we are both well ready for the hunt!

Doing things like this connects me with my ancestors. As I shoot, I think (and believe) "Just think! On this day, exactly a thousand years ago, somewhere, a twenty-four year old man like me was doing the exact same thing I am doing now!" It is the same whenever I throw knives, axes, or spears. It is even the same as when we do something we think of as so typical. Whenever we talk, and laugh, and joke, and drink, and sing...we continue a legacy that has been handed down to us for more than six thousand years!

I do not believe in reincarnation...but sometimes, I wish I did. General George S. Patton read the Bible, and at the same time, believed he had lived past lives, but that God had sent him back to Earth to carry out His plans for Him multiple times. The thought of having actually lived and loved in the times I daydream of wakes a spark in me. It helps me appreciate everything around me that may have been around at that time. I have never been closer to that than when I was in Scotland. Everywhere I looked, the land was teeming with History! I could feel every pulse of the magic that is the Old Country with every step I took, every heaving breath, and every beat of my heart!

::sigh:: I will go there again someday, of that I am certain. I will bring Lanelle, dear beloved lady, with me, and I shall show her what I was shown.

The Lifebeat of The Ancients.

"Quotist"-n. Someone who obsesses over the accuracy of the citing of literature, such as movies, books, poems and songs

I'm very much o.c.d. Anyone who's spent any amount of time with me figures that one out pretty easy. I love movies, too. Thus, it stands to reason that one of my trademarks is that when a movie or song is referenced, I prefer it to be done correctly. "If you're gonna quote it, get it right!" The previous post was in response to a question a dear sister of mine asked in her reply to the post before THAT one. The problem is that she never really meant to ask that question. She meant to reference the movie "Enchanted," which we had both seen the previous night. This is where I come to the point of this post! The PROPER quote is "How does SHE know that you love her?"

THIS is a horse of different color! (Wizard of Oz reference.)

Every time I talk to Lanelle, I take the utmost pleasure in reminding her how much I love her. Making her smile makes me smile! I'm no Cyrano, and I'm not any Casanova, but I do my best, and my efforts are usually rewarded with her glow. We have taken to reading through a book together, night by night. "1,001 Ways To Be Romantic" by Gregory Godek. It's worth memorizing! I have to admit, I keep some of the ideas hidden, to save for myself. I have been very inspired by it several times, but there is a book that we read together every night that I think demonstrates our love even better.

We read the Bible together! I found two more favorite books in the Old Testament that have become favorites of mine, now! (Esther and Ruth) To me, the idea of us discussing the Word of God is more loving and affectionate than either one of us can come up with!

That Which is Truth

This entire post is going to be a response to a question a friend asked me when she responded to me post "Christmas Pleasures." The question she asked was "How do you know you love her?"

There was a time when I wrestled with that question in my mind, too. I thought I'd felt love so many times before it, and said it so many times, too. Here's a list of things I kept thinking, and the rebuttals for them.

"I want to be with her!" Of COURSE you want to be with her, idiot! You're a guy, she's a VERY attractive lady, and she wants to be around you! If you didn't want to be around her, I'd be worried! (Because I'm talking to myself, speaking in first person this whole time, this could get kind of confusing, so stay with me!) This answer also applied to wanting to kiss her, hug her, hold her hand, dance with her, walk with her, sing with her, eat with her and talk with her, so none of those arguments hold any water either.

Those are the typical reasons I listed, but what they all come down to is selfishness. The words "I want to _____ with her" got WAY too repetitive. I began to know that I loved her when I could confidently say:

"I love her mind. She's so intelligent, and she uses her knowledge in so many wonderful ways!"

"I love her heart. She is as kind as a princess, and as gentle as a snowflake's fall."

There are many, many, dozen, hundreds, thousands, TENS of thousands of reasons I love her, but I won't list them all here, but I will say that because I love these things about her, it made me want to protect them. I never wanted to see her insulted, and I never wanted her heart to be abused, and of course I want to shield her from any harm that may come her way. I care very deeply for her body, mind, and heart.

But MOST of all:

"I love the thirst she has for God." This, more than any other reason, is when I knew I had fallen in true love with her. The moment I decided I wanted to push her closer to something holy, I began to understand that THAT was the true essence of showing someone you care for them. I don't believe I have ever felt that I actually wanted to see someone grow even more saintly than they were already quite the way I do with her. Which is not to say I do not believe her an absolute angel right now! Perish the thought! I tell you truly: as far as I'm concerned, the girl that is more lovely, more beautiful, kinder, gentler, more honest, more thoughtful, or more faithful than my lady Lanelle... does not exist.

I find myself wanting to be worthy of her. Since I have met her, my happiness has known no bounds! She is an incredible gift in my life, and I know this because since I have known her, I too have grown and drawn closer to God. The influence she has had on my life has been exponential! She is the inspiration that drives me closer to the Cross. She is the voice in my heart that bids me do well, and accomplish great and honorable deeds. I would willingly sacrifice everything I own and am to protect her, and ensure her safety, well being, and advancement towards holiness. Without her... I would not be the man I am...

Strange...

I've never referred to myself as a man before. Society has mostly deemed that a boy becomes a man only after the loss of what should be one of his most prized possessions: his virginity. I simply cannot understand those who believe that this is what manhood is supposed to be. So you've been there! So what? Animals do the same thing! They say it takes a great amount of strength. Garbage. It takes no strength at all. But to refrain from the action itself takes ENORMOUS strength! THAT is what I call the measure of a man!

But if the loss of virginity is not what defines manhood, what is?

True love. I have my answer already. I want to know yours, dear readers. Let me know!

Christmas Pleasures

Well, the bitter cold has finally settled in, and it is now time for me to hunt for the heavier clothing residing in the back and bottom of my closets and drawers. As long as there's a layer between it and me, wool can be a wonderful thing.

I get pensive in winter, and I don't know why. Probably because not being outside as much prevents me from being as physically active as I'd like to be. Or maybe it's because Christmas is coming, and there's a lot to reflect on.

The most glaringly obvious things about me to think about are my faults. Succinctly put, I am childish. I want things my way, I enjoy being the center of attention, I'll go out of my way to get it, I'm lazy, and when I don't get my way, I pout. Then there are the times when the black despair of growing up seems to crash heavily down onto my soul, and I lose all semblance of hope and happiness for a few hours...or days...

But as long as I can get past looking at all of that...

I can look at all the wonderful things of the season. Actually, they should be a part of every season, but I guess there are more of them around Christmas, or I just see them clearer because it's close to Christmas. The couples delighted to be in each others' arms (Oh, jealousy!) the smiles that are brought out because of the pretty lights, or the ringing of bells for the Salvation Army. Cool Christmas songs I haven't heard for a year, the thrill of imagining someone's face because you found the PERFECT gift for them. I love it!...even though it's cold...

What is a champion?

I've been in a mood, lately, and I love being in that mood. I want to stay in this mood for the rest of my life. I'm in love!

I've never been a champion before. I've always wanted to be, but I suppose I never really had a reason to be except for inner desire. I guess that just wasn't enough. In a way, I think it's a sad illustration of how my lack of discipline has pretty much defined my life. I used to have daydreams of running away from...everything. School, the idea of work, of growing up at all. I wanted to be able to say I could just take my bow, a knife, and run. I could live, couldn't I?

Maybe if I had run, I would have been able to learn how to live. I wouldn't have had any choice. But then, I wouldn't have met Lanelle.

Somedays, she's the only thing that keeps me going to...everything! School, mostly. In a broader sense, the idea of growing up. The thought of her being here is even better! I love her entirely, and I'd do anything for her, including growing up.

I always wanted some kind of enemy to fight. I still feel like I kind of need something to conquer to make myself feel worth all the things I have in my life. I never stopped to think that the enemy I had to fight... was me.

It's not as satisfying for me as a guy to not have someone or something to fight physically. My opponents are spiritual, mental, emotional,... ethereal. To put it bluntly, I hate it. There's no dragon to slay, no evil lord to overthrow, nothing for my sword to cut down. I don't trust my mind as much as I do my strength. I wasn't strong enough to grow up sooner, so of course I doubt my strength now. I've trained my body for combat for 15 years, desperately wanting someone, something to fight. I know there is ability in me. Why would God train me, if for no enemy to fight?! I've been waiting for one since 1992. I was only a 9 year old boy, then, and now I'm what? A 24 year old boy. But now I'm in love! And it makes all the difference in the world!

I grow because I have to in order to make a life for us together. There is nothing I love the thought of more in life. I want to spend the rest of it with Lanelle. And I will, even if I have to fight myself to do it. Being a champion is having something to fight for, recognizing a threat and standing up to it, no matter what it takes.

I love Lanelle! God help me against enemies that threaten me, her, and us.

Amen.

Thank Christmas!

Glory be, and Hallelujah! It is now December, and there are SO many things to love!

Christ's birthday tops the chart!

In third place is the Christmas party on the 26th that my mother throws every year for former and current handbell ringers! So many old and familiar faces! It's interesting to watch and see how people have changed. Most have graduated, then married, then had children, while others are still in high school. Every year, more people are invited!

I skipped second place because I wanted to be chronological and avoid confusion (or did I just create more?) Anyway! SECOND place is that I get to go see Lanelle! 25 more days! I'll go more into this later, in another post. I LOVE MY LADY!

Fourth place is that school's on hiatus! For better or worse, for a few wonderful weeks, we students get to live without the terrible teachers, pathetic papers and crazy classes!

All the rest are generalities, but no less wonderful! Fifth place has got to be the campfires!...ok, so maybe we could have those anytime of the year, but cold weather makes you appreciate it so much more!...especially if you have someone to share it with, under a blanket, all the lights out, soft music...................! Sorry, I get carried away........but can ya blame me? :)

Sixth place is wonderful hot chocolate! MMMMMMMMM! And Marshmallows!

After that is the music! Manheim Steamroller rocks! Trans-Siberian Orchestra rules!

Finally, there are the decorations. The tree, the ornaments, the wreaths and other decorations, but most of all, the lights! They offer such mood! They can soothe or excite!



GOD BLESS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!