That Which is Truth

This entire post is going to be a response to a question a friend asked me when she responded to me post "Christmas Pleasures." The question she asked was "How do you know you love her?"

There was a time when I wrestled with that question in my mind, too. I thought I'd felt love so many times before it, and said it so many times, too. Here's a list of things I kept thinking, and the rebuttals for them.

"I want to be with her!" Of COURSE you want to be with her, idiot! You're a guy, she's a VERY attractive lady, and she wants to be around you! If you didn't want to be around her, I'd be worried! (Because I'm talking to myself, speaking in first person this whole time, this could get kind of confusing, so stay with me!) This answer also applied to wanting to kiss her, hug her, hold her hand, dance with her, walk with her, sing with her, eat with her and talk with her, so none of those arguments hold any water either.

Those are the typical reasons I listed, but what they all come down to is selfishness. The words "I want to _____ with her" got WAY too repetitive. I began to know that I loved her when I could confidently say:

"I love her mind. She's so intelligent, and she uses her knowledge in so many wonderful ways!"

"I love her heart. She is as kind as a princess, and as gentle as a snowflake's fall."

There are many, many, dozen, hundreds, thousands, TENS of thousands of reasons I love her, but I won't list them all here, but I will say that because I love these things about her, it made me want to protect them. I never wanted to see her insulted, and I never wanted her heart to be abused, and of course I want to shield her from any harm that may come her way. I care very deeply for her body, mind, and heart.

But MOST of all:

"I love the thirst she has for God." This, more than any other reason, is when I knew I had fallen in true love with her. The moment I decided I wanted to push her closer to something holy, I began to understand that THAT was the true essence of showing someone you care for them. I don't believe I have ever felt that I actually wanted to see someone grow even more saintly than they were already quite the way I do with her. Which is not to say I do not believe her an absolute angel right now! Perish the thought! I tell you truly: as far as I'm concerned, the girl that is more lovely, more beautiful, kinder, gentler, more honest, more thoughtful, or more faithful than my lady Lanelle... does not exist.

I find myself wanting to be worthy of her. Since I have met her, my happiness has known no bounds! She is an incredible gift in my life, and I know this because since I have known her, I too have grown and drawn closer to God. The influence she has had on my life has been exponential! She is the inspiration that drives me closer to the Cross. She is the voice in my heart that bids me do well, and accomplish great and honorable deeds. I would willingly sacrifice everything I own and am to protect her, and ensure her safety, well being, and advancement towards holiness. Without her... I would not be the man I am...

Strange...

I've never referred to myself as a man before. Society has mostly deemed that a boy becomes a man only after the loss of what should be one of his most prized possessions: his virginity. I simply cannot understand those who believe that this is what manhood is supposed to be. So you've been there! So what? Animals do the same thing! They say it takes a great amount of strength. Garbage. It takes no strength at all. But to refrain from the action itself takes ENORMOUS strength! THAT is what I call the measure of a man!

But if the loss of virginity is not what defines manhood, what is?

True love. I have my answer already. I want to know yours, dear readers. Let me know!