This is just a rant that feels good to write. I'm feeling nostalgic. I realized the date this morning, and remembered why I realized it.
A year ago today, I flew home from my last trip to Colorado. One year ago was the last time I saw the woman I loved; the last time I kissed her, held her, held her hand, held her head, stroked her hair, brushed her face.
She moved on almost immediately. I was stunned at how fast she fell in love again, but I don't begrudge her that. Having talked with the guy, I know he's nice enough, and I like him, which doesn't surprise me.
I've made some progress. I don't miss her anymore, per se. We've talked a few times since then, and I like to think we're still friends. She's not trying to grind anything in my face, and I'm not trying to be bitter or jealous. What I really miss, what I truly do long for, is being in love.
I'm too much of a romantic for my own good. I begin to think that being a romantic has brought me nothing but heartache. I begin to think my hopes for life are impossibly high, and that I should just give in and come back down to Earth; stop all this crazy daydreaming. I'm not going to become some swashbuckling hero. I'll probably never get to use the skills I know for anything useful. No rescuing fair damsels in distress with martial arts or European weapons. It just doesn't happen. Hollywood is fiction, and it's interesting because reality is boring.
It's all so durn metaphorical! My dragon is school, my sword is knowledge, and supposedly, there's some maiden somewhere out there that's waiting for me to come meet her, or is looking for me, too... yeah, right. Whatever.
And what really stinks about this whole thing is that as much as I complain about the way things are, I KNOW that all this complaining isn't going to do any good at all... but it does feel good to write.
Thanks for reading. Feel free to comment, if you like.
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5 comments:
I already told you what I think of this... but hang in there, Bobby. It'll get better.... and someday she'll come along. The perfect woman for you. Keep praying - I am.
On a totally different note - I have an award for you at my blog. (That's supposed to be a link but it's decided to be cranky....) No obligations to play but I thought you might enjoy it?
OH bobby! First you ever read he Circle Trilogy by Ted Dekker? if you haven't you should.
And second. God gave you the desires and passions of your heart for a reason. Follow them, and Him and you'll be surprised at where it can take you.
You are partially right though, maybe it won't happen that way and be perfect the way you want it to be. but that doesn't mean it only happens that way because reality is boring. I'd like to think we desire that because that's the way it's Supposed to be.
I mean after all, the greatest love story ever told defies so called "reality" and for the world it is fantasy, but for those that know, what the world calls fantasy is in fact the realest reality we can experience.
Seriously read The Circe Trilogy, there is one scene in Red I think maybe White that reminds me a lot of you actually.
Keep holding on Bobby, she's out there. Some one who needs the romance as much as you do.
You may not get the damsel in distress, but i'm sure she'll be one for you when you need it most and let you be her knight.
She's just not ready for you yet. She can't handle the awesomeness that is you.
Don't give up! Never! You might be surprised at how many girls would appreciate a guy like you!
Thanks, you three! One can only hope!
And second. God gave you the desires and passions of your heart for a reason. Follow them, and Him and you'll be surprised at where it can take you.
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